Your momma's so fat, she has just been diagnosed with Chronic renal failure.

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what is green and smells bad? an orange dolphin that poops out rainbows.

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why was the teenage girl crying? She was molested as a child

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So, a man walks into a bar. His alcoholic habits are slowly tearing apart his marriage.

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What's the difference between a banana and a monkey? They're both yellow, except the monkey

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What's brown and smells like poo? Poo.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He has no legs.

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Why was the little girl crying? There was a frog stapled to her forehead.

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Why did Sally have a headache? She had a Brian tumor the size of an eggplant.

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What's the difference between your garage and mine? A pile of dead babies.

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Once upon of time, there was an ugly duckling. It was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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What one thing do the five members of Mystery Inc have in common? They were all raped and killed by REAL MONSTERS! One of the monsters happened to be Chuck Norris. He's a BEAST!

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Really sorry Red, I did not mean to leave you hanging, and I hope you wont leave me hanging either, I just need my meds or thinks can get ugly, my health, I can tell you and even show you what my condition is, and heck show you my meds, but there are certain things even I wont spread on horsehead network, you know, people are so bitchy here on the internet, and if people knew what I got, yeaaah, I may start getting green thumbs, and I HAAAAAAATE those. Seriously, on a scale of zero (my ass) to ten, how insane do you see me as?

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Two hippies walk into a bar. They are both asked to leave because they are in violation of the 'no shoes, no service' policy.

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how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

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What did the doctor say to the morbidly obese man? "You should get on a diet. It's a surprise you're even alive for so long with such a bad heart" The next day the man dies while eating celery.

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There is a 5 second long and extremely depressing video, most cant watch it for any longer than 6 seconds

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Q. Why did the boy fall off the swing? A. He had no arms or legs. Q. What did he get for Christmas? A. A drumset Q. Knock Knock Who's there Not him

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How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -Fish

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A bishop died and went to heaven. At the Pearly gates he sees Saint Peter , so he says to Peter "All my life I've been a committed Christian, but I just before I died I was tempted by a woman of ill repute". Saint Peter says "This is just an illusion, your dying brain is merely conjuring up images based on your presuppositions of an 'afterlife'. You have about three seconds left"

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Who's the best player in Madden 07 on the PS2? Michael Vick.

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hi michael

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How many dollies does little Suzie have? Enough to kill 15 men

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops