What did the kid with all F's on his report card get? Beat by his parents

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whats cold, blue and hard? a frozen blueberry.

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Did you hear about the man with the bicycle? He was 2 tired.

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Is that a banana in your pocket, or do you just have an erection?

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There once was a girl with only one buttcheek. She couldn't go poop. She died.

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Larchmont Park is the biggest shithole in the european union - Only the jippo part tho, lots of flies live in that part <3

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that moment when the last few ceral are like "Come on catch me bitch"

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"Why did Suzie fall off the swing?" "She had no arms." "What did Suzie get for Christmas?" "Cancer." "What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a tub of dead babies?" "I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage." "What did Suzie get for Christmas from me?" "My tub of dead babies."

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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a blonde, brunette and a red head are all goin to jump off a bridge and turn into something. the brunette jumps and says fish, and she turns into a fish. the red head says eagle and becomes an eagle. the blonde gets a running start, but then trips on the way off and she says shit and turns into a piece of shit.

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What did the Asian father say to his son when he got a b? Good job son!

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? when people don't understand the concept of anti-jokes and post real jokes

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What did the mother of the boy with cancer say on his birthday? - Happy Birthday, too bad you still have cancer.

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whats worse than gill? nothing

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What do you call a black and white ruler? Barack Obama.

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What do you call a deer with only one leg? A one legged deer. What do you call a deer with one leg, one eye and lives in Rome? Still a one legged deer.

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Two black guys are seen running out of a convenient store. They've just received word that two planes crashed into the twin towers, both their sons worked maintenance on the 73rd floor.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What do you do to a little boy who just called you fat? Throw a rhino at him!

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What is Sally's favorite flavor ice cream? She can't eat ice cream, she's lacktose and tollerant.

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How do you make a mime talk? There are many ways. I prefer a baseball bat with a nail through it.

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Why couldn't the pirate go to the movies? He had scheduling conflicts

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Rsoes are geern Voielts are ornage I'm colorbilnd and Dixlesic.

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0 1 this is a sad sad world.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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