I thought about taking a nice warm shower, but then I realized that the power was out and it would probably be a cold shower.

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Ten green bottles hanging on the wall, Ten green bottles hanging on the wall, And if one alcoholic should one day stroll along: There'll be no more bottles hanging on the wall.

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A guy walks into a bar, and says, "The Aristocrats!"

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What did the young man's clothes smell like after a long night of partying? Laundry detergent, it was quite pleasant

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, your parents are dead they never loved you! I found this one on facebook and i just found this site and all yall got some good jokes LOL

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Today i saw 2 midgets walking.........now there hanging together.....in a tree.....by there necks,,,,...............I f***n hate midgets

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Whats Green and Smells Like Grass? Grass

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was ran over before it made it to the other side.

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Q: What did the forgetful person say to the other? A:

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What is the difference between Madeleine McCan and a toaster? A toaster wasn't raped and murdered.

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Relax, it simply would not be working out for you if your mother was nearby, you see, the subconcious is limited by the concious mind, so if your subconcious can detect your mother (or anyone but me nearby) your conscious mind goes "uh oh" and it stops. Oh, right, and considering you can still type, how about we increase the effect into... I dunno, six billion? Yeah six billion. Anyway, the next time you want to experience it, just poke your nose, and since we do not want you to poke your nose off, you only do it once and you can yourself decide when it ends, at this level you should not be able to type, but if you want to type you can of course turn it off.

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How to kill a mocking bird? Stab it

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, there are many theories as to why the aforementioned chicken crossed the aforementioned road. The most plausible is that the chicken was wandering around, when it came upon a road. Being a chicken, it did not know the dangers of crossing it, and proceeded to.

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How did the mouse die It was eaten by a cat How did the cat die It jumped into the bathtub and drowned

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two men are standing on a roof. Man #1: do you want me to push you off a roof? Man #2: No.

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PIED NINNY!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most rhymes rhyme But this one doesnt

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your mum is so fat her patronas is a cake...

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Snape dies. ^ Spoiler Alert tarelona major

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Why did moral man lose his superpowers? Because he read the pointless superpowers section and realized its pointless... Moral: yeah this is my power... :(

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roses are red violets are indigo

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sorry got to poo

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Why did Justin Beiber cut his hair It had grown to long

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops