what do kids take their lunch in to school. that depends if they buy lunch at school... otherwise they bring it in a lunchbox...

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What happens when an Asian with a boner walks into a wall? He breaks his nose

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roses are brown violets are brown who shit on my garden?

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender asked: "Why the long face?" The horse said: "My wife just died."

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An irishman walks into a bar and drinks 6 pints of guiness. He then drives himself home and savagely beats his wife and children.

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What do you do if there's a black guy bleeding on your lawn? Help Him

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What happened when the Trayvon Martin was shot? The media made a huge deal about it and is now making ridicoulus claims that George Zimmerman is racist, and such claims are infringing on his right to a fair trial, and it's all because Trayvon Martin is black.

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My childhood friend said she had a bad breakup with her husband (yeah husband), and that she needed a really stiff one. Come on! How was I supposed to know she was talking about alcohol! She did blush and smile after I pulled my pants down however, that`s like seven out of ten right? I mean I was just trying to help a friend out right? And myself, fine myself, but it will be a total win/win situation, you know... Those where you win twice? "Dont worry, Im not comming" *pewpew*

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what happens when you shoot a piece of soup It dies

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What did the buisness man say to the hobo? Nothing, he threw an apple at him and laughed!

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house? A: babies lack the intelligence and motor skills to accomplish such a task so it is not practical to hire them for a painting job.

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what did the bear say to the fish? Nothing he eat it

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Knock, Knock... Whose there? panther panther who? panth-er no panths im goin' swimmin'

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roses are red violets are blue my name is kate boyd im gay

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What do porn stars do after they retire? No clue but some idiot made a movie about it.

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what do you call a guy that looks exactly like Mario. Frank because thats his name.

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knock knock whos there i have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's who Cream cheese

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What is the difference between Jason Voorhees and Michael Myers? One's name is Jason, and the other's name is Michael.

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A boy walks up to a girl he finds attractive and says "You're body's kick'in! ... i mean...hey, do you know karate?"

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What happened when the Asian girl got an 89 on her Test? Her parents kicked her out of their house.

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Two guys walk into a bar, have a good time, and exit the bar, relatively sober. They are driven home by a friend who agreed to be the designated drive for safety purposes and enjoy the rest of the evening with their wives, to whom they are happily married. Then the joke ends abruptly.

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whats older than your mom? a tortoise that has been living more than a couple hundred years

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Why could'nt Ray Charles read: He was black

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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