Why is it so hard to cook vegetables? The wheel chair won't fit in the oven.

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What do stupid fat ugly women always say to me? “I think you have a problem with women.”

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Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

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What's the difference between a clown and a dead baby? One makes people laugh and the other is a clown.

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What has a fiery tail and is mentally handicapped? Charetard.

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What's brown and sticky? My ass.

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Q: How do you win the tour defrance if you have one nut? A: Hard work and dedication.

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the world is made out of 4 things. protons, neutrons, electrons, and morons

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An animal entered my house tonight ! It could only be one thing : A bear or a dog.

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what's the best way to get your younger sibling to stop being annoying? Shoot Him

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who has less of a soul then you? a ginger

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Ring Ring Hello? Click

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

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What do you do if an elephant comes through your window? Pay For a new window

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How did the Mexican get into the United States? He showed his passport, and the correct documents & information, and was admitted into the country as a new American citizen.

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Roses are red,Lemons are sour,Open your legs and give me an hour.

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How do you drown a blond? You hold her underwater.

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#So tell me what you want, what you really really want, so tell me what you want, what you really really want.# OhOk then. I'll take that photo of your mother.

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mike:what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas tom:cancer ahahahaha mike:he got a skateboard jerk nararrator: this skate board will be worth less because he has no legs

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What did the army guy say when he lost his gun. Wheres my gun.

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Something told me to write "vote pancakes" so I wrote "Vote Pancakes" it said it was wrong, and now I know why, capitals.

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A carpenter walks into a bar. After ordering some wine he tells the bartender that one of his 12 friends will betray him. He also says that once he was captured, the government will execute him on a wooden cross for everyone to see. The bartender in disbelief says to the man "You gotta be kiddin' me, do you think you're Jesus or something?" The man throws his glass of wine to the floor, grabs the bartender by his collar, and says "Hey man, I ordered red wine, not white wine you bastard!" After a few minutes, a group of nurses escort the insane loon back to the mental clinic. The bartender never saw the man again and proceeds to sweep that mess the psycho left on the floor.

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Aye I heard somethin about yo mom WAT!!!!!!!!! She a bop

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A brunette, a blond and a red-head decide to go swimming in a lake. To prepare, they go shopping together to get some new bikinis. When they get to the shop they are pleased to find that the bikinis are on sale and they get them 50% off. They drive with their new swimwear to the lake and get changed in the changing room. When they get out they notice that it is quite cold. They decide to go swimming anyway. They notice that the lake is dirty. They decide to go swimming anyway. They notice the lake is actually a spill of oil. They decide to go swimming anyway. They remember that none of them can swim. They decide to go swimming anyway. They jump in. They drown.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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