what do you call 100 muslims on a plane? Passengers

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Why did the pirate have a peg leg? Diabetes

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What did the mother say when the train hit her? Bad train! We don't hit!

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Whats luckier than finding a lucky penny? winning the lottery.

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why did tom shut his bedroom door? grandma was fingering herself

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? Because she had no arms!

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Roses are red,violets are blue, i love the colour red and green but its a pitty because im not so keen.

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What do you call a fat priest? Obese

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5 Italian guys from Long Island

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

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If you driving a jetski and the wheeles fall off how many screws does it take to fix the dog house? BLUE PAINT

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Yo Mama's so fat when she fell out of the tree she hit the ground very, very hard.

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Why did the child say he had been a ubused. Answer: because he had been.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra

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A little girl meets a homeless guy named Ian McDermott in downtown Atlanta She then screams stranger danger and a nearby policeman comes and arrests the man.

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What's worse than a broken leg? Two broken legs

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how many flys in a box six --sticksack

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? Please, not the nails.

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There's an Irishman, a homo-sexual, and a Jew standing at a bar. What a fine example of an integrated community!

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I was typing a new book today (literature wild west, and I realized I had been writing the same shit over and over again for eight hours and was dead tired when It went so..) Welcome to the wild west, guns! Hayballs! MONSTER TRUCKS! And then I kinda thought to myself... Is it just me or am I trying a bit too hard? So guys? What do you think, am I trying a bit too hard here? Funny story, I am tired and drank lots of coffee, so I am holding back in order to not try so hard... Not trying hard enough to hold back? I am asking you! WHY? BECAUSE YOUR ANSWER DOES NOT MATTER! ARE WE GAME?

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why did the chicken cross the road? to try and stop the rapist from sodomizing his young child but his atempts were futile as the rapist shot him and used his blood as lubricant when he skull-raped his dying wife

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An old asian woman is driving down the freeway a drunk driver merges into her lane. Everyone is ok because she keeps a safe distance behind.

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What did the cat say to the bird? Nothing. It's a cat.

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There once was a mountain climber. He loved to climb mountains. He had climbed all of the world's tallest peaks...except Mount Everest. So, one day he decides to climb Mount Everest. He takes weeks and weeks to prepare himself. He trains and trains three times a day till he thinks he is ready to climb Mount Everest. Climbing up it takes forever. It feels like it has been days in the dreary cold. Finally, he reaches the peak. It is a glorious occasion. On the way down, a huuuuge storm rolls in. He falls down a cliff and breaks both of his legs. The pain is unbearable. He screams and screams but no one hears him. Finally after what seems like days, a group of monks find him and carry him to their monastery. Chapter Two Once the man wakes up he thanks the monks for saving his life. They give him a room, food, and nice clothes. Every night in his room, he hears a banging behind his dresser. It is really loud and he is quite annoyed by it. The next morning he asked the head monk what the noise is. The head monk says " I cannot tell you, you aren't a monk." He hears the banging noise every night. HE asks the head monk every morning but he always says he cant tell him because he isn't a monk. So the climber decides to become a monk. After years and years of training to become a monk, he finally becomes one. Chapter Three So he says to the head monk, " I am a monk, so now can you tell me?" The head monk replies, " I can't tell you, but i can help show you. So he pushes the drawer back and reveals a little door, He gives the man a lantern and says to go through it. The man goes through the door into a little, dark tunnel, eager to finally find out what the noise was. He crawls for what seems like hours and hours and hours and days and days and days and days. He finally gets to the door where the banging noise is and opens the door. What he sees amazes him. Do you want to know what the banging noise was? I cant tel you, you aren't a monk!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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