What is long, hard, cries a lot, and can't fall down a man-hole? A baby with a javelin through its neck.

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What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

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Knock knock, Who's there? The constable. Your husband was killed in a car crash.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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Say this to someone: On a scale from one to ten, what is your favorite color?

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yo mama is so old, so old that she was given senior citizen discount at the restaurant.

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What rhymes with turtle? RAPE

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what's black and can't swim? a black refrigerator

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What do you get when you put Star Wars and Disney together? A Bad Sequel

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Roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, I have amnesia.

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What do you call a KKK member? ...racist

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Do you know any anti-jokes. Yeah, I do. It's a bit pointless though.

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm Helen Keller Everything's black

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A polar bear and a seal are sitting on an ice floe. The polar bear looks at the seal and says, "RAWRRRRRRRRRGGG" and then kills and eats him.

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Ask me if I'm a carrot Are you a carrot? No

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How many men does it take to change a lightbulb? One

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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Why can't Anne Frank write a sequel? Because she's dead.

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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what do you get when you cross a jellyfish, a jar, and a brown crayon? i dont know, im not into genetics, and jars dont have genes.

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What happened to the guy that got shot? He fell down

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If Sally has 4 apples and Dan has 3 apples, how many apples do they have together? Red, because ducks have 2 legs.

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i have yougurt mit traktor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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