Jack be nimble, Jack be quick... Jack didn't make it over the candle stick and died.

How can you tell two twin sisters apart? Look at one twin, then look at the other, and acknowledge that they are two different people.

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Why did the horse stop runnIng? His master beat him to death.

Why did Isaac cross the road? Because Jake did Why did Isaac cross the road? Because mum told him not to Why did Isaac cross the road? Because Maya was there

Knock knock. Who's there? Me. Oh.

What do you say to a homeless man sat in a train station? That there is a homeless shelter around the corner.

Say this to someone: On a scale from one to ten, what is your favorite color?

Two peanuts were walking down the street I stepped on them both

What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

What rhymes with turtle? RAPE

Knock knock, Who's there? The constable. Your husband was killed in a car crash.

what's black and can't swim? a black refrigerator

A man walks into an illegal brothel. He is a cop. He takes them back to the police station and questions them in a completely asexual manner.

Why'd the chicken cross the road? To visit the graves of his wife and only daughter who were killed in a car accident at the fault of a drunk driver many years prior.

What do you call a KKK member? ...racist

Why do depressed people like sharp knives? Cause there good for cutting Salad

WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

yo mama is so old, so old that she was given senior citizen discount at the restaurant.

i saw amango it splootered

Roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, I have amnesia.

What do you get when you put Star Wars and Disney together? A Bad Sequel

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Justin Bieber hits puberty

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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