If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, then they probably won't hear the lumberjack's cries for help either.

"This is Jesus Christ to Tim Tebow. Please leave me alone. Don't you know that my day off, is Sunday?"

How many Pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 1. and "pollack" is a derogatory term that could be fond offensive to some people.

Q. What do you get when you mix eggs, mashed potatoes and salt? A. A pretty good batter for mashed potato pancakes.

Q. Whats blue and looks like a bucket? A. a blue bucket Q. whats green and looks like a bucket? A. a blue bucket in disguise.

Why was Billy no mates? He had no friends.

An asian and a black guy walked into a bar. An ambulance rushed to their aid as they were in great pain and had a slight chance of becoming paraplegic.

why did the mexican cross the road? Becuase his other one was stolen by a Black.

Roses are red Violets are blue Urine is yellowish and shit is usually brown... That's it, I was just remembering the colors of some stuffs

Why did the chicken cross the road? Exercise

Did the single mother survive the plane crash? No.

What happens when you give a boy a cookie? He falls asleep and his parents think he was kidnapped by a serial killer.

why does the world spin? Chuck Norris says so

Why the kid fall of his bike? He got hit by a fridge.

What do gay kittens eat? Cat food. Friskies and Fancy Feast are both popular brands.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? He wasn't.

what do you say to the preacher when he walks into church? i dont fu***** know, im jewish.

What's johnny's favorite bedtime story? The sound of the subway. Johnny and his father are homeless and can't afford bedtime stories

What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

I obviusly meant: Have you ever seen a cow chasing boots? Because the one with the cowboy chasing boots doesn't make sense...

ur left leg is cristmas nd ur right leg is thanks giving can i vist

What is the difference between an apple and an apple? One has a brown spot.

What was in the magical purple teapot? Two dying pelicans.

I don't know about the rest of you, but I HATE funerals.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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