What do you call a man with a seagull on his head? Whatever his name happens to be.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What is long hard and woody? A tree.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Yo momma so fat she decided to have lipo suction

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the German burn the Jew? Because he dropped his tea.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The guy didn't respond because he was deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

*The doctor walks in* Knock knock. Whos there? Doctor. Doctor Who?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What is green and drives around in the desert and is not a tank? secretly a tank

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what did the blue paint say to the red paint? i am blue

thumb_up thumb_down -9

WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whats worse than getting an eye gouged out? Getting both eyes gouged out?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

chuck norris won the world series of poker using his superior knowledge of counting cards and calculating probability.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A blonde takes a math test it says find x? She circles x and puts there it is!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

NO ONE LIKES YOU!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: What would happen if you didn't sleep all night? A: You would probably be really tired and start seeing things and speaking strange sentences as a result.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What has 8 legs and 1 eye? 2 chairs and half a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what has balls and is long and suckible? Spaghetti

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you make money? Kill babies and sell them.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A Russian man walks out of a bar looking very sober because he walked out of the bar sober.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

chuck norris's daughter lost her virgenatie but he got it back

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why is SkrillEX bad at fishing? S EX

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the spoon say to the other spoon? Nothing, it is a spoon.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

One of my nipples is a different colour from the other two. Is this normal? The Doctor replied with the answer no and said you have cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops