Last Christmas, I gave you my heart but your body rejected the transplant and you died.

To girl in a bar: Grab your coat love... It's cold in my basement.

guess what?

a child and his father were on a bike ride the child tried to cross a street but was run over by a truck. His father now lives homeless and griefs his dead son.

A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.

What did charles get his sister for christmas? Nothing, he's dead

How do you drown a blonde? Keep her head under water for 2 minutes because thats when the human brain starts to loose oxygen.

What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

Acouple of grammer nazis walk into a bar & 'their' treated very poorly.

Why do they call it lunchmeat? Because it is meat that you eat at lunch.

why am i so pretty? because god blessed me with good looks

What's green and fuzzy and has legs that would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table

why did obama become president? people voted 4 him.

Your mom is so fat she has type 2 diabetes.

Someone thought that an onion was the only food that made you cry. So I threw a watermelon at his face.

Q: What happens when you eat all the potatoes A: They are all gone

Your Momma's so ugly that if she got plastic surgery she would probably look better

What do you call a man that was decapitated by a stray saw blade? An ambulance until when you have a reality check and realize that in the mass hysteria of witnessing such a horrific event that this man is already dead. You then callan undertaker, his family and his friends to attend his funeral in a week or so. You then walk over to him and cry.

Yo Mama is so fat She wears XL clothes.

whats blue and doesnt like cheese? the sky, i was only messing about the cheese

Why was the Librarian mad at the laughing kids?? they were laughing cause someone shot her.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not sally.

A guy walks into a bar. The bar was closed. Tough luck.

How come Hellen Keller couldn't drive? Because she was blind and deaf, therefore incapable of performing such a task.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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