When does the baby talk When you remove ypur feet from its mouth

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when god gives you lemons you better hope he also gives you sugar or your lemonade is going to suck

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have AIDS, Now you do too!

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Knock knock. Who's there? The landlord. You're being evicted.

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So much oil was spilled into the ocean that it is killing animals.

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Oh my god, I'm on fire! Help me, help me, oh God it's everywhere!

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"Doctor, doctor! I think I've got Chlamydia!" "Yes, so you have told me. The urine sample you provided me with last week has come back positive. I'm sorry, sir, but you'll never be able to have children."

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What did charles get his sister for christmas? Nothing, he's dead

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Arsonist: Hey, did you listen my mixtape? It's really FIRE.

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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Why is Jesus not real? Because Chuck Norris is still alive.

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Why couldn't the car drive? Because its wheels were made of butter.

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There was a mexican and a african in a car, who was driving? The cop, because both of these men are rapists.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have a gun, get in the van

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How do you starve a Mexican? Deny him access to food stamps

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How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

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Knock, Knock Open the fucking Door

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why did obama become president? people voted 4 him.

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Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

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666

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there are 2 muffins in an oven they are cooked nicely and served as a tasty dessert

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It's funny, because she's twice his size!

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What is the secret to losing weight? Limb Amputation.

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A duck walks into a bar and says he needs to buy a hammer. The bartender tells him that he's probably looking for the hardware store across the street. The duck realizes that he's disoriented again and should listen to his wife's many pleadings to get back on his medication.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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