What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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What's bad for your teeth? A brick

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Who killed Lincoln Nobody knows

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What’s green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

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What's funnier than 24? 25.

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give my joke a thumbs up Please!!!

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What do you call a fat jew? A person that most likely has an eating problem and needs to seek help from the nearest rabbi

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A kid walks into a shop and asks the shopkeeper for a loaf of bread. The shopkeeper says, "White, wholemeal or multigrain?". The kid replies, "No thanks. My bike's outside".

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Why did the little girl cry A rabi slapped her and stole her ice cream

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I saw a kid watching Harry Potter so I asked him "Do you like Harry Potter?" he replued "yeah" so I asked "do you want to be Harry Potter" he said "yeah"... ...so I killed his parents and locked him in a cupboard.

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Why did the baby die? It got shot.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I like to sniff your hair when you are asleep.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing. I lied about the deer.

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what did the schizophrenic get for his birthday? new friends

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Why couldn't johnny go home? Someone commited arsen and burned it down.

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What's a pirate's favorite letter? R, but they are also fond of the C.

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What did batman say to robin as he got out of the batmobile? robin, shut the door.

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Why did the milkman wear a white belt? To keep his pants up.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. 'Who's there.' The chicken.

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why did the shark cross the road It didn't its a shark

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What happens if Pinocchio says "My nose is about to grow." Nothing, Pinocchio was a fictional character created by Walt Disney.

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Who Lives in a Pineapple Under the Sea? No one, its physically impossible to live in a fruit and breathe under water

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how do you tell a joke on anti-joke? you don't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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