Knock knock. Who's there? Get in the van, or I'll kill you.

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What's yellow and has six legs ? A cat. I may be wrong about the color and the legs, I'm color-blind and I can't count.

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What do you call your mother? Mom.

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A black kid, an Asian kid, and a Jewish kid walk into a barrier. They are students at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and they walk straight through the barrier onto Platform 9 3/4.

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Why did the pigeon rape itself? It had mental issues.

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what do you do if there is a black person in your front yard? tell him to leave...

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Amedeo Clemente Modigliani was an Italian artist who worked mainly in France. Primarily a figurative artist, he became known for paintings and sculptures in a modern style characterized by mask-like faces and elongation of form. He died in Paris of tubercular meningitis, exacerbated by poverty, overwork, and addiction to alcohol and narcotics.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape the horrors of factory farming.

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How is a Jew and a White Person alike. 'cuz you touch yourself.

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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What do you call a brunette between two blondes? Susan.

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Knock knock, come in.

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Why did Dave buy a playstation? Because he wanted one.

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After a long day on the movie set, Lindsay Lohan decides to go out to a bar. She gets really drunk and high on drugs and some guy takes her back to her trailer and stuffs her muffin.

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What happened to the Caucasian man who went to Vegas? He lost all his money so the government took away his car and his house so he had to become homeless and live on the streets begging for money from any who walked by until he slowly starved to death after eating food left in restaurants and trashcans.

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Q:Why did the rockstar put rollerskates on his rocking chair? A:Because he wanted people to see him rocking and rolling on it.:)

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How do u make a plumer cry? You kill his family!

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What do you call a half man half manatee? A manatee

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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Why do they call it lunchmeat? Because it is meat that you eat at lunch.

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thumbs up!

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How did the little boy break his arm? He was trampleed by elephants.

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A skeleton walks into a bar. It's inside a person. He orders a beer and enjoys it contentedly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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