if one legs christmas and the other is new years then you have a rare desease call holidaylegtosisisisisis

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Why did the little girl cry A rabi slapped her and stole her ice cream

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Will you marry me? I'm an atheist. ,.

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thumbs up!

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Nice legs....What time do they open?

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A chicken and a triceratops walk into a bar. They both immediately recognize each other and start trading anti-jokes, of which no one else in the bar understood, for they are animals, and animals cannot speak. Which brings up the question of how the triceratops and the chicken would communicate in any way that was conversely accurate to how humans would make jokes. Also adding in the fact that they are both from different eras of time, and the people wonder why a triceratops is walking around when they are in fact extinct. Turns out, the triceratops was an animatronic that gained sentience and ran off the set of Jurassic Park IV, a movie production that was not yet announced, as Steven Spielberg was still working on other movies that were more important at the time. The chicken flew in here because he heard the bar was close-by to where he worked, so he decided to drop by after a long Friday. The bartender finally walks up and asks the triceratops, "What would you like?" The triceratops then went on a rampage and killed everyone inside because he was an alcoholic and lost his family because of it, since his ex-wife would be worked to the bone trying to raise his 2 children and adopted platypus son David. He lost everything in the divorce. Why was he in a bar then? I don't know, I can't talk to dinosaurs. The chicken then befriended the triceratops, as the chicken was a secret anarchist who sought to bring down all the stores on the street, as his mother was killed there while trying to cross the street. She fell into a manhole. The chicken and the triceratops then traded usernames on League of Legends then played out that Friday teaming up and taking down Evil. How do they play League if they're animals? Because this whole story is made up and you wasted a good 2-3 minutes trying to read this.

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-How do you befriend Tom Hanks? -Kidnap his son

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In Soviet Russia, the government kills with famine and genocide.

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Q: What does DNA stand for? A: National Dyslexic Association

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? a fsh

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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Why didn't the man enter the bus driven by a black man ? It wasn't going where the man had to go.

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A fairly-priced Apple computer.

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Penis.

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I'm funny.

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What is as dry as a bone? A bone

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Your mama's so dumb, she don't even know it.

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Your momma's so fat that when she goes to the beach, she feels self-conscious in front of all the other beach-goers.

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Ross Tumilty is gay 8===D

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i came... i saw... -myself when i came.

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What has five balls and hates Mexicans? The lottery.

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- Why did the black man turn off the TV when he saw 2 guys kiss each other? - He was late to the gay-party around the corner.

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What's sadder than the Holocaust? Not a lot of things because it was probably one of the most depressing series of events that happened in the 20th Century.

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a man runs over his wife, who is at fault? -The man he shouldn't have been driving in the kitchen.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops