What do you call a mummy that falls into the Nile? Wet

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Steve, what do I write on a 3946 if more than two vehicles were involved?

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What does an elephant and a red soda have in common? Neither collects stamps.

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why did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to a chicken

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You know you have no friends when you write anti-jokes. [M]

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Q: what did the hot dog say to the hamburger A: i want your buns

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"Doctor, doctor! I think I've got Chlamydia!" "Yes, so you have told me. The urine sample you provided me with last week has come back positive. I'm sorry, sir, but you'll never be able to have children."

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Jesus wept.

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What did the Pikachu say to the Charmander? Pika pika pikachu pika!

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Knock knock, come in.

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There was a small boy with a lollipop and a spinning hat. He died of lieukemia.

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Your mother is such a whore that she has consensual sex with a lot of people...

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Q. Why hasn't LeBron won a ring? A. Throughout his career, he has been placed with incapable teammates, thus leading to unsuccessful results. However, recently, he has been placed with individuals valid pod achieving such a goal.

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How do you lock out a Chinese Person? Lock the door

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A kid walks into a shop and asks the shopkeeper for a loaf of bread. The shopkeeper says, "White, wholemeal or multigrain?". The kid replies, "No thanks. My bike's outside".

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A father and son are involved in a car crash. The father is killed, sadly, but the boy is rushed to the hospital. The doctor prepares for surgery, and since this boy has no family-connections to her, she performs successful surgery on him, and the boy goes home after 3-5 days.

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what did the penguin say to the dodo bird. nothing because dodo birds have bin extinct for thousands of years and it is highly unlikely for a dodo bird to be saying anything to a penguin do to the fact they wouldn't be anywhere near each other and neither species can speak.

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What's brown and sticky? -A stick.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was dead and therefore unable to escape the Chick fil A bag it was being carried in.

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Q. What's green and will kill you if it falls out of a tree A. A pool table

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What type of cheese is not your cheese? The cheese that belongs to another person.

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What's the diffrence between a pizza and a black man. One is human being while the other is an inanimate food source.

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What's sad about a house on fire?, it was my house.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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