How many hispanics does it take to screw in a light bulb. One. Just one. You just screw it in, it's not that complicated.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't make for a very good accountant.

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Want to hear a good joke? The NBA.

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Steve, what do I write on a 3946 if more than two vehicles were involved?

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One of them you crack open with a sledgehammer and feast upon, and the other is a dead baby.

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Knock Knock Who's there? 9/11 9/11 Who? You said you'd never forget.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why can't Michael Jackson work at a boy scouts camp? Because he's dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? there were no more cars in the way

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What's green and has four wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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What did the little girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? Cancer.

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What did the kid see when he fell down the well? Nothing it was to dark.

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Why do most married men die before their wives? Men have on average a shorter life expectancy than women.

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whats the difference between a chicken and a grape? there both green exept for the chicken

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Meanwhile, at La'kaneisha's family reunion, they had a great time eating caviar, steamed lobster, and rare bull testicals.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have multiple personality disorder, NO YOU DON'T!

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Q. Why hasn't LeBron won a ring? A. Throughout his career, he has been placed with incapable teammates, thus leading to unsuccessful results. However, recently, he has been placed with individuals valid pod achieving such a goal.

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A man walked into a bar. It was closed, so I don't see how this was possible.

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What's worse than pushing a baby off a cliff?........ Standing at the bottom with a pitchfork....!

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YOLO

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The brunette and the redhead escape, but the blonde is captured. Why? Because she had a prosthetic leg sustained from a previous injury, and thus couldn't run very fast.

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A man sees a hitchhiker on a road. The man crashes because he was not watching the road.

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What did the English teacher write on a sheet of assignment criteria? The assignment criteria. Plus, she spelled "millennium" wrong.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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