What did the doctor say to his dying patient? Shit happens.

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why do giraffes have long necks? because their heads are a long way from their bodies

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Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

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Did you hear the one about the kinky dominatrix? No. Damn. I really wanted the details.

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What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a cheetah? Don't do that, I'm pretty sure it's illegal for several reasons.

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How do you make a little girl cry? Throw a brick at her face.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell into the mud.

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What's the best way to eat 20 pancakes in ten minutes? With a fork

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Q: What does DNA stand for? A: National Dyslexic Association

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Q: So why does an Asian guy look at these two black guys and a white woman in the middle? A: Because he wants an oreo cookie.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because a random biological stimulus compelled it to.

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman gets off the bus and files a complaint with the public transit system and the driver loses his job.

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whats worse then falling on the ice? -getting raped by a blue whale

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1.Knock Knock 2.Who's there? 1.Boo 2.Boo Wh- The second person realized that the first person was about to make him cry so he stabbed the first person. 2.Who's cryin now Son!

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I used to make references to characters in Skyrim, but then my uncle touched me...

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Roses are red Violets are red I stabbed the gardener.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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What is Mario's favorite food? I don't know. You should ask him.

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Have you tried Honeybunches of Oats?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have AIDS, Now you do too!

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What do you call 2 black men next to me. 2 Dead Men

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nik nak paddy wack give the dog a breathalyzer test

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how many babies does it take to paint a wall red? depends on how hard you throw em

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops