What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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I saw a kid watching Harry Potter so I asked him "Do you like Harry Potter?" he replued "yeah" so I asked "do you want to be Harry Potter" he said "yeah"... ...so I killed his parents and locked him in a cupboard.

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Q. What's large, solid, and full of veins? A. A man or woman who frequently engages in weightlifting and follows a diet primarily based around high protein and low carbohydrate intake

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whats worse than getting a fail on your math test? Getting shot.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead.

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Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

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What is bright yellow and tastes like Gatorade? Antifreeze

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Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial Muscles.

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a: How can you tell you are not pregnant? b: I don’t know. a: Like this: I’m not pregnant.

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So an asian man gets into a car... and drives home on the highway driving at the approximate speed of the designated speed limit while exhibiting safe driving maneuvers. He arrives home to his wife and kids and sits down for a nice dinner while having a engaging conversation about the political future of the United States and his favorite football team.

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A blond and a brunette took an IQ test. Both of them scored above average.

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"I see London; I see France..." "Wow. You must have exceptional eyesight."

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I'm gonna put my nut-sack on your drum set

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what looks like a banana, smells like like a banana, but isn't a banana? a fake banana

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if a black man, a Chinese man, and an Indian were about to jump off the Eiffel tower, who would hit the ground first? who cares?

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What did he hellen keller say to her dad ? Nothing she cant talk

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Q: What do African Americans and Doorknobs have in common? A: Before the Emancipation Proclamation was passed, neither was free. Doorknobs still aren't free.

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Q: Why'd the chicken cross the road? A: to get to the other side

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What is worse than getting mud on your brand new t-shirt? Getting stabbed.

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knock knock. no one's home..

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What is better than winning the Special Olympics? Not being retarded

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My mom touched my wiener : \

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How many hispanics does it take to screw in a light bulb. One. Just one. You just screw it in, it's not that complicated.

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Why was Jane absent from school today? Because she got mugged on her way there, and soon after was hit by a passing bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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