I hope you take your own wise words to heart Nero, how would you like to claim to be me and get our ship somewhat on land before it all goes to pieces? After all I have been claiming to be you for a long long time.

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That's as gay as AIDS.

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What did one man say to the other? I'm a Mormon.

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What do you call a Muslim driving a plane? You don't drive a plane.

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Hey hey what did the bald man say to brian moccia? lOL!

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A chicken and a triceratops walk into a bar. They both immediately recognize each other and start trading anti-jokes, of which no one else in the bar understood, for they are animals, and animals cannot speak. Which brings up the question of how the triceratops and the chicken would communicate in any way that was conversely accurate to how humans would make jokes. Also adding in the fact that they are both from different eras of time, and the people wonder why a triceratops is walking around when they are in fact extinct. Turns out, the triceratops was an animatronic that gained sentience and ran off the set of Jurassic Park IV, a movie production that was not yet announced, as Steven Spielberg was still working on other movies that were more important at the time. The chicken flew in here because he heard the bar was close-by to where he worked, so he decided to drop by after a long Friday. The bartender finally walks up and asks the triceratops, "What would you like?" The triceratops then went on a rampage and killed everyone inside because he was an alcoholic and lost his family because of it, since his ex-wife would be worked to the bone trying to raise his 2 children and adopted platypus son David. He lost everything in the divorce. Why was he in a bar then? I don't know, I can't talk to dinosaurs. The chicken then befriended the triceratops, as the chicken was a secret anarchist who sought to bring down all the stores on the street, as his mother was killed there while trying to cross the street. She fell into a manhole. The chicken and the triceratops then traded usernames on League of Legends then played out that Friday teaming up and taking down Evil. How do they play League if they're animals? Because this whole story is made up and you wasted a good 2-3 minutes trying to read this.

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What's a pirate's favorite letter? R, but they are also fond of the C.

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Why did the milkman wear a white belt? To keep his pants up.

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Knock knock. Who's there? You know. You know who? "Call him Voldemort.... Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself."

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Why didn't the man enter the bus driven by a black man ? It wasn't going where the man had to go.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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A fairly-priced Apple computer.

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A guy walks into a bar. He then comes home at 4 a.m. to beat his wife.

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Why are elephants big, grey and wrinkled? Beacause if they where small, white and smooth, they would be an aspirin!!!

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A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian says "I'm worried about your book choice, maybe you should consult a theropast".

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The economy.

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why does the octopus have no friends? because they're anti social by nature

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What do Kenyans do at night? Starve.

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whats worse then falling on the ice? -getting raped by a blue whale

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Your mama is so poor that she is on welfare, but she is ashamed to tell you and cries herself to sleep every night.

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a man walks into a bar and dies

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf. That would be irresponsible/

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Why didn't the African kid eat lunch? He wasn't hungry.

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Your momma's so fat that when she goes to the beach, she feels self-conscious in front of all the other beach-goers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops