What do you call a giraffe driving a car?.. Your Imagination

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Don't you hate the retarded smart people who think anti-jokes are all about really explaining but adding sarcasm? Yes.

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What do you call a black man in a cotton field? A farmer

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Why was John the octopus depressed? Because his real name was Steve, and he couldn't communicate this to anyone since he lacked the higher brain functions and vocal chords required to do so.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Question 1 - What is 1 + 1 = Hospital

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? They may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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How do you kill a blonde? Repeatedly stab a knife into her jugular vein

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why did the chicken cross the road? it was in a refrigerated freight truck en-route to its destination.

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What do blondes do when they hurt themselves ? They say "Ow", just like anyone else.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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Why did the little girl cry A rabi slapped her and stole her ice cream

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What do you call a white man circled by 11 black men? D12

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What is the difference between a rose and a grape? They are both purple.

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what is white and red all over? a ginger

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Knock, knock Who's there? You're adopted...

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Politics.

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How do you fit three gay men on a stool? You don't, that would be very uncomfortable.

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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I heard the new Batman movie was to die for

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Why was the boy confused? Because somebody had been running around in circles around him and throwing plastic cups at his face.

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Nice legs....What time do they open?

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MWAAHHHHHAHAHHAH

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Did you hear the one about the kinky dominatrix? No. Damn. I really wanted the details.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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