What happened to the Caucasian man who went to Vegas? He lost all his money so the government took away his car and his house so he had to become homeless and live on the streets begging for money from any who walked by until he slowly starved to death after eating food left in restaurants and trashcans.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A man goes to the doctor complaining of pain. Everywhere I touch it hurts, he tells the doctor. "The cancer has spread," the doctor says. "Go home and spend your last days with your loved ones."

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you get if you cross a chicken and a potato? Answer- Chicken tasted potato

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why was the man unable to get an erection? Because he was a woman

thumb_up thumb_down -23

a young mother calf named near reality was milking itself and selling it at pathmark everyday for high prices he got a lot of money out of it and bought a big mansion where he also had a farm and collected prize show cows to show off to all of his cow friends.... he also bought gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons of prize show cow milk to drink to and build up energy for the cow show race coming up in the near fall. Every sunset he buys loads of milk to drink and feed his plants with. He plants lots of grass every day to eat and produce high quality milk goods. He was a wii, ps3, and xbox360 to play everyday and excercise his udder milk.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: Because 7 rapes people

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Politics.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Have Alzheimers, Cheese on Toast.

thumb_up thumb_down -77

Gay jokes are a real pain in the butt.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

What do you call a man with a cigar in his mouth. A person with bad health and dirty teeth.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Wanna hear a Harry Potter joke? Knock Knock Who's there? You know You know who?

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Christians

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A man walks into a bar... But, it's not funny because he's an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

You are such a loner nothing even clings to you, not even plastic wrap!!

thumb_up thumb_down +30

i like pie

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call a man with three testicles? Polyorchid. Look it up.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

This comment is anti to jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What has tomato Sauce And came from italy? Pizza

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What looks like dirt, smells like dirt, but isn't dirt? Fake dirt!!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

I went to see a fight and all of a sudden a hockey game broke out.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What makes the antijokes on this site funny? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

The night is always darkest just before the dawn. Just kidding I'm Helen Keller, everything's always dark.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Whats round, hard, and full of seaman? Well in the context I'm using it in, a submarine, but too the inappropriate mind when spoken out loud, could be registered as the homophone of seaman, semen, which would then lead you too think of male genitalia.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops