Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have multiple personality disorder, NO YOU DON'T!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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what does a gorilla do when it sleeps. it snores.

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A frog found a smoking cigarette on the road, so he/she takes it, smokes it, and explodes.

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A teenage boy walks into a bar, he doesn't even know he's slowly drinking his life away

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Why do most married men die before their wives? Men have on average a shorter life expectancy than women.

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So there is a white guy and a jewish guy walking, they find a penny on the ground who takes it? The white guy because he is in debt.

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What's similar between a flamingo and a rhino? They're both pink...except the rhino

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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What is pink and smells like green paint? Pink paint

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What do you call a dead blond in a closet? A homicide victim.

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what is long,hard and holds semen,a submarine , i spelled seamen wrong

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What did the man say to the man? Awkward.

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A jew, a black man, a muslim, an atheist, a christian, a catholic, a roman, a russian, a cuban, an english man, a horse, a cow boy, a gay, a lesbian, a dancer, a teacher, a father, a mayor, a politician and a fish are in a bar. Now that's one crowded bar.

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Diana and victoria

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I came across a woman on the ground and i said what happend and she said... "i tripped"

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BUT HWY?

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You might be redneck if you are... Indian

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The night is always darkest just before the dawn. Just kidding I'm Helen Keller, everything's always dark.

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Yah? Well your a ********

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Why was the little girl lying on the floor? Because she had no arms or legs.

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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It was the eve of December and a man was using a blanket why? because it was cold and he wanted to be able to function properly at work so his boss would not get mad at him because he respected his boss and wanted to make him happy

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Amblyopsidae, or blindfish, commonly found in caves where they are well adapted to life in the dark.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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