How do you occupy a blonde for a day ? You put her in a round room and tell her to sit in a corner. ... That or you strap a bomb to her, give her a list of twelve billion things to do, and tell her the bomb will explode if she doesn't do everything on the list.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

why couldnt the mexican jump the fence? He broke his leg.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's big, white and will killl you if it falls out of a tree? A polar bear.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A jew, a black man, a muslim, an atheist, a christian, a catholic, a roman, a russian, a cuban, an english man, a horse, a cow boy, a gay, a lesbian, a dancer, a teacher, a father, a mayor, a politician and a fish are in a bar. Now that's one crowded bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A horse walked into a barn...

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Fred awoke and looked outside. The sun was rising over the fog in the valley below. Birds were singing, and the air smelled of freshly cut grass. THIS was the day, Fred thought, that I'm going to kill my wife and kids.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

So - this baby seal walked into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

- Why did the black man turn off the TV when he saw 2 guys kiss each other? - He was late to the gay-party around the corner.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the Long face" The horse then storms out of the bar, wondering why every bartender must ask him that.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Everyday I'm.. Stepping on a beach. A roop a doo! Stepping on a Beach. do do do? do!!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A suicide bomber enters a bar. Everyone dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is the loneliest number to exist? Zero. Except it's not lonely. I'm just saying there are zero lonely numbers. Numbers aren't sentient. They can't feel loneliness.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why do black people like chicken? It's usually fried.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's the difference between a Porche and a Pile of dead babies? I don't have a Porche in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Don't you hate the retarded smart people who think anti-jokes are all about really explaining but adding sarcasm? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: nobody knows, but the road was royally pissed off.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's worse then burning in hell for eternity? Well, a lot considering hell is a made-up place.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Your mama is so fat... she really should go on a diet.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why couldn't the kitten drink from its water bowl? Its face was stapled to the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

what is white and red all over? a ginger

thumb_up thumb_down -30

what did the beaver so to the rattle snake? snap your bagles

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +53

A jew, a catholic, and a muslim walk into a bar. Within minutes, they begin to argue about religion. After a few hours of intense debate, all three left dissatisfied and upset.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops