Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

What happened to the power lifter that tried to deadlift 920 lbs while wearing nothing but his briefs? he succeeded because he is trained power lifter.

minorities

What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A bench is created to be used by multiple people for sitting down or other forms of rest, and does not have consciousness or the complex body systems of humans and other animals.

Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial Muscles.

A guy vociferiously kills another person- fueled by the incentive of personal gain provided by his rapacious, human nature. He is an army soldier who's triumphant in battle and hoping to recieve a promotion. However, ultimately all he did was essentially insignificantt and his acts of purported valor were diametrically unnoticed by all except for his closest friends/allies. He never did supass his original self of a soldier and died of a natural cause that was disclosed only to the members of his immediate family.

KNOCK KNOCK. who's there? Isdar Isdar who? Isdark in here.

My friend came out.....of the bathroom so I could shit

Knock, knock Who's there? Who. Who who? ... Who?

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She's a women.

Why was the little boy sad? He tried to dry off his puppy in the oven.

why couldnt the mexican jump the fence? He broke his leg.

clamidia

Knock Knock Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident, your entire family is dead.

Knock Knock Who's there? Nobody. You'reschizophrenic and are hearing things. Go see a doctor. Now.

What do you give an obese person with diabetes? Insulin.

Hitler. lol, sucks.

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are driving in a car. They're on their way to the mall, or something.

what do you do if there is a black person in your front yard? tell him to leave...

What do you get when you cross a rhino and an elephant? Two angry pachyderms.

Your momma's so fat that when she goes to the beach, she feels self-conscious in front of all the other beach-goers.

Q)whats pink and fluffy A)pink fluff

Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Cancer.

roses are red violets are blue the stems are green they smell good

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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