What's the difference between a tube of toothpaste and Youtube? If you squeeze a tube of toothpaste then toothpaste comes out. You cannot squeeze Youtube because it is a popular video sharing website. Even if you could squeeze it, no toothpaste would come out..

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A man walks into a bar and says: "ouch!"

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Politics.

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What's orange and rhymes with parrot? Carrot

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A guy walks into a bar, he has a few drinks than leaves.

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Why wasn't the 7 year old boy happy? I shot him

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Have you heard of Helen Keller's dog? No. Neither has she

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A guy with no legs walks into a bar.

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What happened to the guy who ate the alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He died

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why didn't the dog run after the ball? he was blind.

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Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because they're humans and many humans enjoy the savory taste of fried chicken.

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If you helped Jack on the horse, would you help Jack off the horse? Of course; if he was too short to climb onto the saddle then it would be irresponsible and potentially dangerous not to help him off. As his riding instructor, you would be liable for any injuries Jack sustained had he attempted to dismount the horse with no assistance.

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Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial Muscles.

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What did the blind man say to the deaf man? It doesn't matter because the deaf man couldn't hear him.

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Past, Present and Future walk into a bar. It was tense...

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A man walks into a bar... But, it's not funny because he's an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.

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Chikin nuggets

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Why did the black man buy a watermelon? Because it tastes good.

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I can see you under there. Under what?

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how do you wake up lady gaga poke her face

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What did the small baby faucet say to the daddy faucet? Nothing, they are inanimate objects and cannot talk.

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A Squirrel jumps into a bar, lands on one of the empty tables and begins eating the Peanuts out of a bowl. The bartender thinks to himself "I really should close that window to keep the Squirrels out..."

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Your mama is so fat she is morbid obese.

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i like pie

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops