What happened to the guy who ate the alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He died

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What did the boy do when he was cold? He got a blanket.

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A man walks into a bar and the the llama next store sprouted wings and flew Then a potato says hi to a iPod but unfortunatly the iPod can't talk. Meanwhile hello kitty and ducks wage a nuclear war and the rise of ostriches Started. The a giant cucumber started falling of mt. Everest and killed many Flying platipuses were saved. Then aliens started invading and the world ended.

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My friend came out.....of the bathroom so I could shit

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Your mommas so fat that she has developed adult onset diabetes.

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Q: What's the Difference between Judaism and Catholicism? A: There are many substantial and vital distinctions between Judaism and Christianity. Of course, there are many similarities as well, primarily because Christianity emerged from Judaism. However, the emergence was not a direct line. Christianity broke from Judaism, forming a new religion, so it is misleading, however comfortable the thought might be, to believe that the two religions are essentially the same, or to see Christianity as the natural continuation of Judaism.

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A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

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"The lack of a punch line is the punch line" Oh

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Why did the Booger cross the road? because He was getting picked on....

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Reduce, reuse, recycle Anti-joke.com

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Roses are Red Voilets are Red I am Red I am Dead

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What did the black person say when his white friend said "Nigga!"? "You know, I really don't get racist jokes like this."

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What's the difference between black people and white people? Their skin color.

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I need somebody to lean on... ...Because one of my legs was amputated after I was blown up on a mine field in afganistan.

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knock knock. no one's home..

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A: Knock knock B: "NOOOO" A: *Comes in, sees masturbating son*

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roses red violets blue my name chad i stupid

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What would George Washington do if he was alive today? Scream and scrach at the top of his coffin.

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What did Helen Keller say to her eye doctor? Nothing, she is incapable of speech.

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Miss Jones has 10 apples on her desk. Billy takes half of them away and runs. What does Miss Jones have? 5 apples and a complaint filed for smacking Billy with a ruler.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Gestapo.

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Your momma's so ugly she adopted you because she had a problem attracting men.

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Why was the mexican ugly? -UR MOM!

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you know what they say... hydrate or die

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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