if i'm white and you're white, then who took my car keys?

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I went to a magic show and the magician asked for my watch... He took the watch and then produced a doughnut... Guess what was in the doughnut? JAM!

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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A suicide bomber enters a bar. Everyone dies.

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How did the little boy survive war? He respawned at his teams side of the map

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I was walking down the street one day when suddenly, a chicken crossed the road. Apparently it wanted to cross to the other side.

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What did Lance Armstrong say to his critics? I have one testical

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"Hey look, mommy! I'm a whale!" (child proceeds to pull a shotgun and create a blowhole in his head)

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What did one duck say to the other? "Quack!"

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"Doctor, doctor! I think I've got Chlamydia!" "Yes, so you have told me. The urine sample you provided me with last week has come back positive. I'm sorry, sir, but you'll never be able to have children."

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? They may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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Arsonist: Hey, did you listen my mixtape? It's really FIRE.

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What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was tomato...

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Whats 9 + 10 19

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why do giraffes have long necks? because their heads are a long way from their bodies

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Why did the little girl jump off a cliff? because she was at a cliff jump at a water park

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Q:: when artificial intelligence takes over the planet, what will become of anti-joke.com? A:: idk, but my cousin's girlfriend and I will get naked together and she will get on top of me and tell me I'm awesome and that my d*ck feels really good inside her. you see by the time AI takes over, the means to create virtual reality experiences will be greatly enhanced.

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knock knock who's there? no one... your lonely so you hear things

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Obviously.

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Why did the man push open the door? The sign said PUSH.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Shoo! Shoo! Get out! Hey! Who's horse is this? I don't want a horse in my bar!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops