Why was the little girl lying on the floor? Because she had no arms or legs.

what do you do if there is a black person in your front yard? tell him to leave...

How did the square become a circle? Due to the period of recession in our nation, it was found necessary to cut corners.

A guy walks into a bar, orders a beer, pays, and leaves.

What is white a can't climb up a tree? A fridge.

A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

Why did the motorcyclist die? I heard he was sat on by Chuck Norris.

Why didn't the chicken cross tithe road Because it was a motorway

Why did the pilot crash the plane? It was a tomato.

3 strangers were locked in a dark room they turned the light on, unlocked the door and proceeded with their day.

Question 1 - What is 1 + 1 = Hospital

so a baby seal walks into a club...

what do you call a gay kid? KIRK, SAV, FRANK, or even KIRKLE THE TURTLE

Have you seen stevie wonders house? Nope... Neither has he

A bass player walks past a bar. What? It could happen.

You.

Whats 9 + 10 19

What do you call an Italian baby born with an extra toe? He was named Vincent Antonio Linguini and has been doing well with six toes.

What did the English teacher write on a sheet of assignment criteria? The assignment criteria. Plus, she spelled "millennium" wrong.

I saw a kid watching Harry Potter so I asked him "Do you like Harry Potter?" he replued "yeah" so I asked "do you want to be Harry Potter" he said "yeah"... ...so I killed his parents and locked him in a cupboard.

What did Lil Jimmi received at his birthday ? A red fire truck and he loved it

How did the little boy break his arm? He was trampleed by elephants.

Jesus can walk on water. Babies are 75% water. I can walk on babies. I am... In jail.

One day a girl comes home crying to her father. Father, Father! She says, a boy i met touched my shoulder! Like this? Her father says and touches her shoulder. Yes just like that, a bad part was that he kissed me on my lips! Like this? her father says and kisses her on the lips. Yes just like that but the WORST thing was he stuck his you know what into my you know where. Like this? Her father says as he sticks his you know what into her you know where. Yes just like that father but he had AIDS! ......( Awkward silence)..... oh shit.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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