Steve, what do I write on a 3946 if more than two vehicles were involved?

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What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13.

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why did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to a chicken

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William came home from school and was very tired. He went to the kitchen and got a chocolate bar. Then he died.

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"Doctor, doctor! I think I've got Chlamydia!" "Yes, so you have told me. The urine sample you provided me with last week has come back positive. I'm sorry, sir, but you'll never be able to have children."

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how did the fat guy fall off the swing? the chain on the right side broke because of is eccesive weight that he probably should have lost last year on biggest loser.

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Why did the black guy enjoy anal sex? Because he has a phobia of vaginas and only likes to have anal

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What Do you Call Cheese that's not yours (nacho cheese?) *interrupt them violently and stare with crazy eyes!* STOLEN! I was gonna make quesadillas, now no quesadillas for anyone!

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Why is Jesus not real? Because Chuck Norris is still alive.

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How do you lock out a Chinese Person? Lock the door

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What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

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What did the doctor say to his dying patient? Shit happens.

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What happens when you put an embryo in a blender? I don't know, I was too busy jerking off.

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Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become? A. It will Wet or Sink, as simple as that.

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Why didn't you return my call? Cause I F@%Kin Hate you!...And Just wanted to tell you in person....

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why am i so pretty? because god blessed me with good looks

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doctor, doctor, i feel sick the doctor runs some tests on his patient then comes to a conclusion then the doctor says " you are fine"

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Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

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Q:: when artificial intelligence takes over the planet, what will become of anti-joke.com? A:: idk, but my cousin's girlfriend and I will get naked together and she will get on top of me and tell me I'm awesome and that my d*ck feels really good inside her. you see by the time AI takes over, the means to create virtual reality experiences will be greatly enhanced.

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A chicken and a triceratops walk into a bar. They both immediately recognize each other and start trading anti-jokes, of which no one else in the bar understood, for they are animals, and animals cannot speak. Which brings up the question of how the triceratops and the chicken would communicate in any way that was conversely accurate to how humans would make jokes. Also adding in the fact that they are both from different eras of time, and the people wonder why a triceratops is walking around when they are in fact extinct. Turns out, the triceratops was an animatronic that gained sentience and ran off the set of Jurassic Park IV, a movie production that was not yet announced, as Steven Spielberg was still working on other movies that were more important at the time. The chicken flew in here because he heard the bar was close-by to where he worked, so he decided to drop by after a long Friday. The bartender finally walks up and asks the triceratops, "What would you like?" The triceratops then went on a rampage and killed everyone inside because he was an alcoholic and lost his family because of it, since his ex-wife would be worked to the bone trying to raise his 2 children and adopted platypus son David. He lost everything in the divorce. Why was he in a bar then? I don't know, I can't talk to dinosaurs. The chicken then befriended the triceratops, as the chicken was a secret anarchist who sought to bring down all the stores on the street, as his mother was killed there while trying to cross the street. She fell into a manhole. The chicken and the triceratops then traded usernames on League of Legends then played out that Friday teaming up and taking down Evil. How do they play League if they're animals? Because this whole story is made up and you wasted a good 2-3 minutes trying to read this.

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Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

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a rabbi,a priest and minister didnt walk into a bar. Bars are for fun and fun is for not completely insane brainwashed people.

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how much does a pirate pay for an earing? $2.50

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What did the guard say to the... I was going to finish this anti-joke but I took an arrow to the knee.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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