What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Why was the deaf boy crying at Christmas? He got an iPod.

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Q: What did the bulbasaur say to the charmanderr?? A: bulbasaurrr

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Q: What did the one legged homeless person get for christmass? A: Frostbite.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Obviously.

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whats worse than losing your pet rock? having your dog run over buy a car.

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If you helped Jack on the horse, would you help Jack off the horse? Of course; if he was too short to climb onto the saddle then it would be irresponsible and potentially dangerous not to help him off. As his riding instructor, you would be liable for any injuries Jack sustained had he attempted to dismount the horse with no assistance.

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Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial Muscles.

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What did the ghost say to the bee? BOOBEE

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Christians

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66

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What did the man say to the man? Awkward.

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A jew, a black man, a muslim, an atheist, a christian, a catholic, a roman, a russian, a cuban, an english man, a horse, a cow boy, a gay, a lesbian, a dancer, a teacher, a father, a mayor, a politician and a fish are in a bar. Now that's one crowded bar.

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clamidia

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Q. Whats the difference between watermelons and people? A. Watermelons don't smoke pot...

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? To have a shit.

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Noses are red, pilots are blue I am dyxslexic boo who

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Yah? Well your a ********

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I'm so popular... That I am friends with many people...

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What looks like poop and smells like cheese??

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What did one snowman say to the other? Hmm...smells like carrots.

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Q)whats pink and fluffy A)pink fluff

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Roses are red Violets are red I stabbed the gardener.

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What does an elephant and a red soda have in common? Neither collects stamps.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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