Hi Adam,

thumb_up thumb_down -36

what did the boy with no arms and legs get for chrismas? cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +113

Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

thumb_up thumb_down +71

What did Elvis say when he lost his voice? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +69

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing. I lied about the deer.

thumb_up thumb_down +67

Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell into the mud.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

whats worse than losing your pet rock? having your dog run over buy a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Why did the man push open the door? The sign said PUSH.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

What's the difference between a duck?

thumb_up thumb_down +53

What's green, red, and goes fifty miles an hour? A frog in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

A black man, a Jewish man, and a gay man walk into a bar. They are all good friends who want to enjoy drinks together.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What do you call a dead blond in a closet? A homicide victim.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Animal

thumb_up thumb_down +37

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Q. Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone? A. He got attacked by a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

I came across a woman on the ground and i said what happend and she said... "i tripped"

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why are elephants big, grey and wrinkled? Beacause if they where small, white and smooth, they would be an aspirin!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Roses are red Violets are blue I have to go to the bathroom...

thumb_up thumb_down +19

I went to a magic show and the magician asked for my watch... He took the watch and then produced a doughnut... Guess what was in the doughnut? JAM!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

I went to see a fight and all of a sudden a hockey game broke out.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What has tomato Sauce And came from italy? Pizza

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do dead babies and trash both have in common? They're both in my dumpster.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock, Knock Who's there? The IRS, you're being audited.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops