Why didn't Hellen Keller just wear glasses? Oh wait

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A ship sinks in the middle of the South Pacific, only one man survives. He swims over to a deserted island.

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What did the doctor say to his dying patient? Shit happens.

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Why couldn't the baby walk through the door? Babies can't walk

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Why was the boy confused? Because somebody had been running around in circles around him and throwing plastic cups at his face.

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knock knock whose there?? seth oh, come in

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Roses are red, violets are blue Vodka is cheaper that dinner for two.

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Why did the girl fall if her bike? -she has no arms

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-How do you befriend Tom Hanks? -Kidnap his son

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why did obama become president? people voted 4 him.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Shoo! Shoo! Get out! Hey! Who's horse is this? I don't want a horse in my bar!"

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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Why doesn't Santa have any children? Because Santa doesn't exist.

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One penguin says to another penguin, "It looks like you are wearing a tuxedo." The other penguin says, "Yea, I have to go to dinner party later."

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How do you keep Helen Keller distracted? Find a stimulating device that blind and deaf people can operate correctly.

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What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big red rock-eater.

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Someone thought that an onion was the only food that made you cry. So I threw a watermelon at his face.

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what did the black kid get for Christmas? your bike

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A duck walks into a bar and says he needs to buy a hammer. The bartender tells him that he's probably looking for the hardware store across the street. The duck realizes that he's disoriented again and should listen to his wife's many pleadings to get back on his medication.

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A Man visits his Doctor because he is feeling slightly unwell.

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Why did the priest molest the small boy? Because he can.

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A jew, a black man, an Irishman, a Scotsman, an Englishman, an American, and a muslim walk into a bar. They discuss their racial, political and religious opinions and walk away after a pleasant evening.

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I made a friend today. His name is don. He poops burritos. I like burritos.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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