Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they are ugly and they smell bad.

Why did the man scream? He got his dick caught. In the zipper.

Bill Clinton, George Bush, and Barak Obama find a magical lamp. The Genie says, "I will give each of you one wish, and one wish only.." They all wished to be presidents.

What's the difference between a black man and a pizza? One's a black man and one's a pizza.

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Q: What did the bulbasaur say to the charmanderr?? A: bulbasaurrr

Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

What's a pirate's favorite letter? R, but they are also fond of the C.

What did the gay man say to the other gay man? “How was your day?“

why did the pile of rocks cross the road? they were stuffed down the chickens throat

What's sad about a house on fire?, it was my house.

Why did the Chicken cross the road? Actually it couldn't even walk because of all the hormones they injected into it in order to genetically enhance it's size and flavor.

A baby seal walks into a club.

Who owns the streets of Comton The mayor

Two penguins are sitting in a bathtub. One looks at the other and says, "Can you pass the soap?" The other penguin says, "What do i look like, a typewriter?"

Roses are read bacon is good poems are hard .........BACON

what do you call a man with a mop? a janitor.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Warenth Gibson. Warenth Gibson who? Warenth Gibson. What part of that don't you get?

A dog walks in to a Western Union, walks up to the cashier and says "I'd like to buy a telegram, please." The cashier says "Alright, what would you like it to say?" "I'd like it to say 'bow-wow-wow, bow-wow-wow" replies the dog. "Okay. You know, you can add another 'bow-wow-wow' to the message free of charge," the cashier informs. The dog says, "Well, that just wouldn't make any sense."

How did the square become a circle? Due to the period of recession in our nation, it was found necessary to cut corners.

A man walks into a bar. Itwas an metal bar so the man was hurt.

What's green and looks like a forest? A forest.

Hey guess what? Nevermind.

You know you have no friends when you write anti-jokes. [M]

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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