Why did a homeless man eat another man's face off? Because he was hungry.

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What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

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Why are you gay? Because ***** you

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Why Was the straight man in love ? because he was an intelligent human being who had the formula of understanding woman .

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Once upon a time there was a man sleeping, Then he woke up.

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Three men are stranded in a small rowboat. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. It became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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A brunette, redhead, and blond were on a road trip. Their car broke down in the middle of the desert. The redhead offered to get help down the road, but never returned. The blond and brunette walked the direction the redhead went, but died four days later of heat exhaustion.

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Hey man. what? squidbillies.

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

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How do you make a white girl commit suicide? Bully her.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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Why did the chiken cross the road? idk, i can't talk to chikens

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what did the man with Alzheimer's say to his son? who are you!?

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--- ___________________--- Can you tell what it is? Yes... Then what is it? Its a blanket,duh! ......

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why do you care?

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i remember when i was a child i wanted a skateboard but my parents would never buy me one so late one night i crept downstairs and got a hammer and some wood and i beat them to death my foster parents baught me 5 skateboards

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Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?".

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What do you call a blonde that just got hit by a school bus? Dead.

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NA LINDOL BA KAPAG NATALON ANG MATATABA :8

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What's worse than having cancer? Two people having cancer

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A man realizes the whole time he has wanted to fly like a bird. His funeral was two weeks later

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What's yellow and cant walk? The Sun

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What do you call a black man carrying a T.V? Someone that is helping me move.

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What do you call an animal that is blue, fluffy and lives in the arctic? I don't know and that's why I'm asking you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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