What did the genie say to the man that rubbed the magic lamp? Nothing, genies don't exist.

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Why did Schrödinger's Cat cross the road? It didn't

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have down syndrome, my favorite color is potato

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Why did the police officer decide to eat a donut? Because he was slightly hungry, but a meal seemed too much for him.

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What's long, dark, and smelly? The unemployment line.

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What did the black kid get for christmas?? Your tv

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on a planet, in a galaxy, far far away... you have cancer

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? No I said Lou. Oh hey Lou come on in.

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What did the monkey say to the other monkey Monkey can't talk

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A man walks into a bar and says, "I'll take a drink."

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What happened when the boy got sad He fell in a woodchipper

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What did the boy's mother say to her daughter when she walked in on her father having sex with her grandmother? The grandfather said "how are you"? He wasn't a part of that fiasco. However I'm sure that whoever saw what was confused and looking for answers.

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Why was the dentist sent to jail? Because he committed a crime.

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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What did the one stethoscope say to the other stethoscope? Nothing. Stethoscopes can't talk.

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How do you make an onion cry? Onions are incapable of crying

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Why would Maria not have sex with Liam? Because she is Danish and doesn't shave and therefore is self-conscious

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How many chickens does it take to cross the road? It only takes 1 chicken to cross the road. You don't need a lot.

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Knock knock Whose there? 4

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Why did the man walk up to a bank teller with a gun? He is the security guard; he wanted to ask her for financial advice.

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2 squirrels with 2 massive boners and 1 little boner.

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Whats funny about a fat person dying? He died while eating friend chicken

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Why was the boy crying? Because he was told he would never find a wife

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Why was the guy not asleep Because he was awake

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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