So I was walking along the beach one day and I see this whale. Then this dolphin named Lennie came up and was like, "Hey whale, how've you been? I haven't seen you in a while." And the whale was like, "Sorry, but I can't talk to you." And Lennie was like, "Whyever not?" And the whale said, "Because I'm not a starfish!"

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Why did Suzie's friend put rubbish in her mouth? Because Suzie is a rubbish bin.

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What did the famer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?!?!

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justin bieber is a good singer april fools haha you thought hell had frozen over

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At first I was at the party and I was like YOLO!! But then I got pregnant and was like yolo....

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A bar walks into Chuck Norris.

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Why didn't the priest move in with the two rabbi? Because having three adults between the ages of 18 and 65 occupying the dwelling would have violated their insurance policy.

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What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Nothing, it's still a dinosaur! Her sexual orientation is regardless. ~kyle hudson

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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why are there so many peadofiles in the world? sexy kids.

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Why did the black man repeatedly punch the white man? The two men were boxers. They were fighting in a charity boxing match. Revenue generated by the event went towards cancer research.

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Why did the car stop? It ran out of gas.

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

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What's the difference between heaven and hell? Hell likes you more.

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Yo mammas so fat you know what, i think she might die!!

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A man walks into a bar not a duck though

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How do you know when you've ritten too many anti-jokes? When you answer your own question as a rhetorical device

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What did the mute man say to his mother? Seeing as mute men can't talk, we'll never know

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so a salesman knocks on a mans' door and asks if he would like to hear a salespitch but the man didn't answer he came back two minutes later and knocked and asked if the man would be intrested in some girl scout cookies and the man tore the door off the hinges.

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why wasnt nathan invited the party? nathan's been dead for 5 years

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A barman walks into a bar. He works there.

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Your mom is so old she died

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You sick fiend

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Why did the toddler fall over? He's an Iraqi child and has been shot in both legs, being readied for a public execution for fighting on the opposing side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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