Okay, this is a real joke: A guy slips on a banana and falls down in the most funny way ever, so a girl nearby starts laughing when she suddenly realizes the guy is bleeding profoundly, so she runs over to help, but it turns out the blood was just ketchup so... Just then they both got run over and killed by a car.

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What did the jerk say to the Mexican? You are a Mexican

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There are 5 men in a desert a black man a white man a gay a lesbian and a white woman they have no food or water and haven't had any in 3 weeks civilization is 1 mile away how many people live and which ones They all die you can only live 3 days without water.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What do you call a fish with no eye? Blind.

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Q: Why did Susan fall off the swings? A: She had no arms Q: Why did no one help her up? A: She had no friends Q: why was she at the play ground? A: Her parents were fighting again Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susan

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Knock Knock, Who's there? The Postman. But I wasn't expecting a parcel. Is it for 37? No, Sorry, its for 35.

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knock knock... ....... no one replies.. the family is deff..

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Once a upon a midnight haven. Along came a cow name Mr. Maven. For they say the cow was very lucky. But oh what a day for something very mucky. Oh ye the coming of Mr. Maven and his milk. And for every cereal there will be silk. But wait isn't Mr. Maven a guy? How can you milk him even if you try? I don't know, just sounds cool.

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Q: Why didnt jim win the race ? A: Because he swalowed his tounge.

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Why w\s the English man, the French man, the German man, the Indian man, the Chinese man, the Irish man, the American man and the russian man all on a train together? They where going to the olympics.

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I'm not hungry, so when my mon offered me a pear I said to her "No thanks, I'm not hungry". 

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What's worse than breastfeeding a wolverine? Force-breastfeeding a wolverine.

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I SWEAR TO GOD I'M NOT GAY! But my boyfriend is. Love you, Jeff.

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what is Rebecca black's favorite restaurant? Ruby Tuesdays

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WOw you have no life

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

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What did Mel Gibson say to the African-American? I'm sorry

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Why did the chicken cross the road To walk back

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? An alive one at the bottom eating its way up.

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knock knock who's there bang bang bang bang who where da cash at

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Last Christmas I gave you my heart. I am still waiting for a transplant.....

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A dyslexic man's favourite clothing shop is Tampon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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