Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead Q: Why did the lizard fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the moneky

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haha

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mark is religion

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Girl goes to see a sex therapist. Girl says, "Doc, though this has never been a problem, for the past 3 months I have been unable to reach climax. Can you help me?" Doc says, "Yes.". And after an intense 18 months of therapy the doctor helped the girl to discover that her inability to reach climax was related to issues of childhood sexual abuse. And after another 36 months of therapy the girl finally found the courage to confront and forgive her unrepentant abuser, as she realized that by not forgiving him, it was like drinking poison while hoping that he would die. And though the doctor did help her,as he had said, the girl never regained her ability to reach climax again.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue.. And IDGAF!

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there r three guys on a bridge. They r chinese,mexican,&american. They each have a bottle of beer. The chinese dude says I have enough of this in my country and throws it over the bridge. Then the mexican says I have enough of this in my country and throws it over the bridge. The american takes a drink of his and sets it down he looks at the mexican and says I have enough of these in my country and throws the mexican over the bridge.

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Your feet are so big your gonna need bigger shoes.

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A man walks into a bar, furious that his son had been knocked down by a car and was now in hospital with a fractured leg and concussion. Another man, who sits on a stool at the end of the bar, is playing with his drink and wondering if his wife had made a chicken curry, since she said she would for tonight's dinner.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Goodbye to the people who hated on me

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My friend was driving me home from a party, and was quite drunk. I was relieved that we did not get into a car crash.

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Im sitting in class trying to write a joke. I should be writing my speech But i'm better off trying to think of the funniest joke that could get on the front page with over 9000 likes :( Lol nah thats never going to happen :'(

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Hey Jake can I use your lawnmower? Why Michael, so you can run over my cat like you did last night

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How do you fit 76 babies in a bath tub... With a blender. How do you get them back out? With tortilla chips.

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What do you get when you drink water? Piss.

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What do you get when you cross a Zebra with a Sheep? Hounded by a religious group for playing God.

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Mary had a little lamb, its heart was black as coal, it crept into her room one night and ate her f***ing soul

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What's got eight legs and one eye? Two chairs and half a pigs head.

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What happens when an alien touches fire? It gets burnt

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream? Because he was laughing so hard at the man who farted and burped at the same time.

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Why did the pervert cross the road? Because he couldn't get his knob out of the chicken.

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how fast does it take to kill a blonde? Give me a gun and i will find out

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You know what helps with back pain? If you lick my butt hole.

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How many skilled union workers does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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What did the fireman say to the people in the burning house I'm going to use this water for my sprinkler rather than saving your lives. I might as well use this for something more significan, like my lawn.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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