What do you get when you drink water? Piss.

How do you put a baby to sleep? Snap its neck.

Ok so a black guy is packing his bags for college and then......... wait a minute?

What happens when an alien touches fire? It gets burnt

What do you get when you cross a Zebra with a Sheep? Hounded by a religious group for playing God.

What did the Woman say to the man after he walked into the pole? That was a pole you idiot

Women's rights

how fast does it take to kill a blonde? Give me a gun and i will find out

Your Mum is soo fat.

Mary had a little lamb, its heart was black as coal, it crept into her room one night and ate her f***ing soul

How do you fit 76 babies in a bath tub... With a blender. How do you get them back out? With tortilla chips.

What's got eight legs and one eye? Two chairs and half a pigs head.

Why did the pervert cross the road? Because he couldn't get his knob out of the chicken.

What's Kanye West's main goal in life? To dash the hopes and dreams of Taylor Swift on national television.

What is red and fluffy?... Your teddy bear covered in blood...

How many skilled union workers does it take to change a light bulb? One.

How many theropists does it take to change a lightbulb? -only one, but it takes a very long time and the lightbulb has to want to change.

What did the cat say when someone pointed out that cats can't talk? Meow.

roses are red violets are blue i like elephants

Have you heard about the Polish princess? There isn't one. The Polish monarchy was abolished in 1918.

Q: what is an anti-joke? A: Coffee Volvos

Why can't Ray Charles read? Cuz he is blind You illiterate uneducated racist bastard trying to say it was because he was black.

What's in a bag of dead babies? Dead babies and one alive baby eating it's way out.

Dude, that's not banana ice cream...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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