What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding poo in your shoe.

Why did the leaf fall of the tree? Because it was fall

If pro is the oppisite of con what is the oppiste of progress Congress

Why was the boy hanging from the ceiling? He was sad

Why did the Indian have a hard time getting a hotel room? He didn't. He owned the hotel.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He has no legs.

Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.

I recently sent 10 puns to a joke website, hoping that one of them would win a competition. Unfortunately, they were deemed offensive.

A horse walks into a bar. "Rough day?" says the bartender. UUUNNNHHHHH!

Why doesn't Helen Keller know how to drive? because she's a woman.

You know what happens when you assume? You make a judgment based on incomplete information.

WILLYS

What do family members and a loaf of bread have in common? If you smash them with a hammer they die.

What is the difference between an apple and an apple? One has a brown spot.

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light-bulb? I'm melting!

Why does pavement get hot. Because it’s black. How could you tell she had bruises. Because they were black. Why did the boy drop out of school. Because he was dying of melanoma.

ewrg

Why doesn't Julius Caesar answer his cell phone? Because he's DEAD.

Whats the difference between a dog and a piranha? Their names.

Roses are blue Violets are red I shot your valentine Straight in the head

A penguin walks into a bakery. The baker asks the penguin: "What kind of bread would you like? Brown or white?". Penguins answers: "Well, it doesn't really matter since I came here by car!".

There was an English man, an Irish man and a Scottish man. The Welsh man couldn't make it. Again.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

How much wood can a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? The Holocaust

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...