knock knock who's there? The police your family is dead

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What do you call a Muslim man flying a plane? The pilot.

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Why was the man in a great deal of pain? Because he was hit in the face with a sack of potatoes.

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Why did the man need new glasses? He was thrown off a bridge by a leprechaun.

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A Black Guy, A Rabbi, And A Mexican walk into a bar, the bartender looks up and says "Get Outta Here We're Closed!"

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Yo momma so fat she ate a tape worm which had to be surgically removed because it further increased her health problems. She's still fat.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wioFUrwny1c

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Why is the country in a national deficit? Because the Illuminati want to control all human beings in a socialist new world order.

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What's the worst thing about that Black Jew at the Bus Stop? He's taking a bus to go to his mother's funeral.

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What happened to the child who's mother drank and took drugs while she was pregnant? Dead.

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How can a hobo become rich? It can't. It died from food poisoning from eating food out of the trash.

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Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

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What do you tell your dad if he constantly gripes about his balls? He's got testicular cancer and he's going to die a horrible painful death.

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Why do people who walk into bars never have names?

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Its crackers to slip a rozer and dropsey in snide.

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What did the rabbi say at the party? Mazel Tov.

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I had a submarine.... once

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You know what happens when you assume right? Well, you make an educated guess based on prior knowledge to the circumstance at hand.

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What the difference between some stoned and someone drunk? When your drunk you think having a good time even when you not and when you stoned your so high you think your a dragon ball z character.

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Two men walk into a bar. You would think at least one of them would've seen it.

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A man walks into a bar. He goes up to the Bar Tender and says, "Hit me with all you got!" The bar tender then ducks down under the bar out of sight. He comes back up with a sledge hammer and viciously murders the man. Blood spews everywhere and many others are brutally murdered shortly afterwards. :)

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The other day I went into the bathroom to take a poo, It was Glorious I flushed the toilet and everything.

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so i can text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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How many pianos does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to change the lightbulb, and one to play a motivational tune.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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