10% of car thieves are left-handed. 80% of chimpanzees are left-handed. Therefore, if your car is stolen, there's an 8% chance a chimpanzee is responsible.

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What did the underaged man say when he walked in the bar? He asked for a Coke.

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can't you hear that TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT, TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT flute (nicki minaj in a past life listening to a symphony)

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A boy and a girl are each granted a wish Girl: I want us to be lovers until the end of the world Boy: I want the world to end

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Hey, Batman Yeah? Knock Knock Who's there? Not your parents!

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he wanted to impress his wife.

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Why did the black guy have a bunch of marihuana? He was the owner of a shop that sold it for medical purposes.

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What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection? Quarter pounder with cheese.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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A man walks into a bar. He walks out again remembering he forgot his wallet.

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What did Harry get for his Birthday? Nothing nobody likes Harry.

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Whats fast, dead and make of CGI. Paul Walker

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A 21 year old man walks into a bar. After looking at the menu for a minute he orders the cocktail of the day. The bartender looks at the man in disbelief because he has such a baby face and looks like a teenage kid. The bartender politely asks to see his ID. The man pulls out his wallet and shows him his drivers license. Sure enough he was the legal age of drinking. The bartender says "Thank you" and gives him his beverage.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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Q) What do you get when you cross a brown chicken with a brown cow? A) An abomination

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Thre jews walk into a bar i lied it was a gas chamber

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What do you get when u cross a owl and a bungy cord...........my ass

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What's a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick

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Why did the old lady cross the road? Why not.

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Misner is a twat.

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Q: Why did the Jew fit in with the White people? A: Because he, and his compatriots, have accepted the view of Judaism as a religion, and perhaps a lifestyle -- but not a race.

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AAAnd that did not totally send a rush of sweet endorphin's up my spine, I think myself of as really really blunt, I value individualism rather than complete assimilation, I think that, if people want to hear my opinion, they ask me, and if they want to hear what they want to hear, they can ask... Pff, anybody else. I end up insulting a lot of people literally asking for it, but moments like these make it all worth it. I am also extremely superstitious, the catchphra states "Grain of salt" so I wont take your comment completely... I am just screwing around...

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Did you hear about the two guys that stole a calender? They each got six months.

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God is like semen. They're both nouns.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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