What do you not want to call a african american that begins with an N and ends with an R? A Neighbor!

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

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Knock Knock ... Knock Knock The man proceeds to leave.

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why did the chicken cross the rode? so it can get the seed that is between the two yellow lines, and then he walked back without getting hit by a car.

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why did victor have a tube on his neck he was helping james with security

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if life gives you lemons. squeeze one into your moms eye.

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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Once upon a time, there were a lot of Jews......

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Why did the Chicken cross the roead? It didn't

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Hey! You wanna' hear a joke? Black Freedom

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I once did __________ (went to Hawaii, drank a whole gallon of beer, etc. ), but then I woke up. Works with anything, and people will laugh.

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Whats worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Having a Hippo give you head.

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? Hit her in the face with a ax!

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What's the only part of a vegetable you cant eat? The wheelchair

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How many Terry Pratchetts does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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What's the difference between Rick Perry and a toaster? One is a republican presidential candidate, while the other is an electrical appliance.

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You: Want to hear a joke? Person: Yeah You: Me too

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Man 1: Do you want to hear a joke? Man 2: Sure. Man 1: Okay.

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Why did the Jew pick up the quarter on the sidewalk? Because he was going to buy a candy bar and was short 25 cents.

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Roses are Red, Vilots are blue Im going to kill myself Bye

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No, Sarah. You know your hooks scratch the keys.

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theres no I in Intelligence a.w. j.p.

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Why did the racist guy die? Because the black guy stabbed him with a fork.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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