Who are the faster readers? New Yorkers, they through 110 stories in 5 seconds

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You know whats worse than an anti-joke? Practically Anything.

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Q: What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? A: "Get in the car."

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you just read an anti-joke

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How do you make an ugly person not ugly? Put a bag over their head. With,, a smiley face.

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Why did the little girl keep running into things Because she was blind

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What happens when metal and ice collide together? The Titanic

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man returned and said, "My friend does not have a pulse and he is not breathing, so I stand by my prior assumption."

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Yamum is so poor that she has trouble supporting herself and paying her own bills. Subsiqeunetly she had her electricity and home phone cut off, not that she would have any use for a home phone with her electricity cut off anyway. She sits on her bed and cries herself to sleep each night and has been thrown into depression due to her spiraling financial debts of which she can see no end to. This has led to several attempts to take her own life to hopefully finally find a way out of her misery and debt.

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what doesn't kill you makes you crippled for life because you lost use of your legs in a tragic car accident

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What's black and white and red all over and can't turn around in an elevator? A nun with a spear through her back

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Why did the boy miss the toilet when he was peeing? Cause he was in the shower.

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Why did Timmy mow the lawn? He didn't particularly like the way it looked Why did Timmy fall down the well? He is retarded and thirsty How did Timmy die? He had stage three lung cancer Why cant Timmy drive a car? He has been dead for three years

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what do u call a guy with 4 nipples? Hairy Styles

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What's living, purple, yellow, and green? Nothing.

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Poker face

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Roses are red, Violets are too. You're bleeding out, I stabbed you.

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How was breakdancing inventented? From niggas trying to steal hubcaps of moving cars!

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What's bigger than a moose? An even bigger moose.

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What did the hand say to the face? Nothing because body parts cannot speak.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side.

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Why did the cook throw up at McDonalds? Because his pay check was made out to the Ronald McDonald Foundation.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? She didn't, her father named the dog because he was aware of his daughters innability to speak.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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