Roses are potatoes Violets are potatoes I like potatoes Potatoes.

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My grandmother's zodiac sign was cancer, and she was killed by a giant crab.

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What is small, slimy, and thrown in the garbage? A stillborn

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What is blue and has blue shoes? A blue shoe box

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What do you call a man with no arms? Richard, as that is his name.

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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What's the difference between a lamp?

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Roses are red Violents are blue Oranges

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Why did Hitler kill himself He saw his gas bill

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What do you get when you cross 3 men and a chainsaw? Answer: 2 and a half men

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Why did the long term smoker suddenly stop smoking? Because he had a heart attack.

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whats better than a girl getting hit by a car? a girl getting hit by a car with my dick in her

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Knock Knock whos there? brad are you thomas brad are you thomas who? for goodness are you a parot or something

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A man and a cucumber walk into a bar. They sit three seats away from each other and intermediately give nervous looks to one another. Finally the man stands up and declares "I hate bar jokes" and walks out.

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Why aren't there any black flesh-colored bandages? Good question.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Find a half-worm.

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"Is your fridge running?" "Yes, I believe so" "You'd better go make sure, because I put some chicken in there and it didn't seem very cold to me"

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What did the Catholic Priest say to the Altar Boy shortly after sex? Nothing. The feelings of shame and revulsion the priest felt about what he had just done meant he couldn't look him in the eye let alone talk to him.

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Why did Johnny fall off of the swing? The swing was defective. Knock, knock. Who's there? Johnny's lawyer.

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What do you call a blonde that just got hit by a school bus? Dead.

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How can you tell if someone is vegan? -they'll tell you

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Why did the boy get nothing from Santa? He's Jewish.

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i went to the bar. soon after i entered the bar i got kicked out. why? becuase i'm seventeen.

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Jimmy: Knock Knock Nick: Whose there? Jimmy: Joe Nick: Joe Who? Jimmy: Joe Mamma Nick: No shes dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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