What sound did the man make? Splatt. He fell off a building.

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The Pope walks into a bar, the barman says: "What'll it be, Pope?" But the Pope's knowledge of English is tenuous at best. He mumbles something in Latin that the barman doesn't understand. The Pope becomes frustrated and leaves.

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I found a lump on my right testicle. So, as a precaution I went to my local hospital to have myself checked out. Thankfully, it wasn't accute testicular cancer. Instead I only had to suffer for a few months, but it's getting better now. Sadly, I won't be able to have children and now my semen has a somewhat unsavoury flavour. Thanks for asking.

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A rabbi walks into a bar mitzwa.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She didn't own a car.

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Yo mama so stupid, she should be worried about Alzheimer's disease.

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Why do cows have bad hand writing? because they don't have thumbs

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What's worst than realizing your mom is actually a transvestite? Simultaneously realizing this means you are adopted

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Knock Knock Who's there? Mike Mike who? Just kidding, it's Danny. Oh okay, come in.

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Knock knock: Who's there? Guy in the doghouse. Guy in the doghouse who? WILL YOU LET ME OUT OF HERE?!?

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How do you make a sandwich out of clay? Shape it like a sandwich

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What happened when the chicken got to the other side of the road? It didn't, it got hit by a car.

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Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms? Because they weren't invented when he was alive.

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Roses are white, Violets are white, holy shit i can see the light.

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How do you make a gorilla stop chasing you? You shoot him.

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What is not funny Bad jokes!????

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How do you get your dog to stop barking? You snap its neck.

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what has two lags and red all over? :a cat in a chinies restrunt...

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Why did they use the phone as a football? Because it was a phone-ball.

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Three blind men walk into a bar, and, no... wait, sorry just one; so one blind man walked into a bar, and... uh, okay, so it was actually more of a small post. This is pretty much just a plausible, yet unfortunate event. My bad.

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What? Chicken butt Why? Chicken thigh Who? Deez nuts

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Q: What do you get when you put an ice cube, a grasshopper, a cell phone battery, and a human finger in a freezer? A: A very strange mix of objects indeed.

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I forgot to tell you something I forgot wat it was

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There was once a guy who was so crazy...he was sectioned.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops