What do you call a panda without a head? Dead.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Me. I am a psycopathic heroin addict, and i came to your house to violently rape you and kill your whole family. I dont have a family. Oh.

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Why couldn't the baker get a new car? Because he lived in a recession and nobody was buying his cakes.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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What is long, hard, and full of seamen A submarine you pervert

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Whats worse than finding an actual joke on anti-jokes? A.I.D.S.

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What do you call a black women serving 60 years in prison? A prisoner.

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I walk into a bar...

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Why did the blonde kid that was really gay He got a bad case of HIV

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What did Tiger Woods say when his wife hit him with a golf club? "Why did you hit me with a golf club".

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

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What happened to the dog that ate to much? It became obese.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side.

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What do pebbles and Batman have in common. They're both pebbles. Except Batman.

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Did you fall from heaven? Because I seem to notice fractures to your knee, spine and a possible permanent risk of poor posture.

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What do you call a dog that can't pass an Algebra test? A dog.

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YO FACE

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Q: You know why the floor is so clean? A: Because the janitor puts a lot of hard work into it.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being hit by a plane.

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What is so sad about 5 black people going over a cliff in a Ferrari? That was my Ferrari by darragh hamilton

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Two Naked men jump off a cliff. Three months later, an entire pack of Cub Scouts were enrolled in group therapy. It's ongoing.

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this is a haiku i have no idea where i am going with .... this

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Wha'ts the difference between Justin Beiber and a piece of hot muff garbage? Fart triscuits.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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