What did one platypus say to the other? Whatever noise platypuses make. I'm not sure. I am sure that they lay eggs though.

What do dead babies and trash both have in common? They're both in my dumpster.

'I had a surprise test today.' 'What happened?' 'I was really surprised.'

a man runs over his wife, who is at fault? -The man he shouldn't have been driving in the kitchen.

How many Facebook friends does George Bush have? None because he doesn't have a Facebook.

Q:Who has the highest K/D ratio in Call of Duty World at War A: Hitler, 6000000/1

Q: Why'd the chicken cross the road? A: to get to the other side

What did he hellen keller say to her dad ? Nothing she cant talk

Your mama's teeth are so yellow, she decided to invest in a teeth whitening procedure and begin a healthier dental hygiene regimen.

What do you call a black pilot? Whatever his name is, you racist.

What did one snowman say to the other? Hmm...smells like carrots.

Why is Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven is a horrible pedophile and has deeply seeded emotional problems

Yo mama's so fat, she possesses a Body Mass Index that is above the recommended value for healthy individuals and thus will have a greater risk for heart disease and other related health problems.

Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

What do you call a Mexican hockey player? A hockey player.

A man walks into a bar. Inside he finds Hitler, his wife, and an angry badger. They are pleased to see him and they all relate to each other through their shared love of bocce ball.

"Doctor, doctor! I think I've got Chlamydia!" "Yes, so you have told me. The urine sample you provided me with last week has come back positive. I'm sorry, sir, but you'll never be able to have children."

so a baby seal walks into a club...

doctor, doctor, i feel sick the doctor runs some tests on his patient then comes to a conclusion then the doctor says " you are fine"

When did the Chinese guy go to the dentist? At the correct time he had been allotted.

What's green, red, and goes fifty miles an hour? A frog in a blender.

What did the homeless guy do when he found a quarter? He picked it up

Why was the orphan crying? Because his parents are dead.

It's funny, because she's twice his size!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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