Whats massive, long, hard, cold, and is blue? A penis in an ice cube.

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Your momma's so fat that when she goes to the beach, she feels self-conscious in front of all the other beach-goers.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house knock knock Who's there THE CHICKEN

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A man is having dinner with his family at a restaurant. While eating his food, the father tells the waiter,"This food is delicious! My complements to the Chef." When the waiter comes back to the kitchen he says "You are a very handsome man."

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are driving in a car. They're on their way to the mall, or something.

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Yah? Well your a ********

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the Long face" The horse then storms out of the bar, wondering why every bartender must ask him that.

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Why is Kim Jong Un so fat? Because he takes all the food in the country and sends his own people to live in concentration camps!

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Why did the young man have a young woman do cart wheels when he was in his tree house watching her do them on the ground? Who knows?He never shared his feelings.

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Hey, you have small hands.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

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how do you make a fat black man cry? Rape his wife.

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how do you get a cow in the fridge? Open the fridge, and insert. How do you get a kangaroo in the fridge? Take the cow out and insert What animal is not in the lion king? kangaroo --WHY hes still in the fridge

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how much wood could a wood chuck chuck? 3

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What did the three-leaf clover say to the four-leaf clover? "FREAK!"

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Teacher: Be creative and original! Student A: Teacher, why do you want us to change our monikers? I'm fine the way I am. After all, I'm unique... just like everybody else... Teacher: Why don't I have the brilliant children? Student B: Chance/randomness plays a large part in our everyday lives. Take for example the life of Bob- a paragon for human normality. He gets up in the morning each and every single day to be greeted by an arbitrary occurrence. Although it sometimes serves Bob good, it could also aggrandize his human well of detriment. Teacher, do you want me to continue? Teacher: I retract my earlier statement. Some of the children are brilliant, but most are not. Hence I'm going to say that I have a normal class of students. Student B: Teacher, you didn't answer my last question of which I addressed to you specifically.

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"Doctor, doctor! I think I've got Chlamydia!" "Yes, so you have told me. The urine sample you provided me with last week has come back positive. I'm sorry, sir, but you'll never be able to have children."

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Yo Mamma

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.

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What do you call a black man selling drugs? average

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Do u know what would be a big pain in the ass? A thorn

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Knock,Knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Orange you going to let me in?

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why did the chicken cross the road? it was in a refrigerated freight truck en-route to its destination.

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Has anyone seen Stevie Wonder's new car?! Nobody seen it?! He too!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops