One day a girl comes home crying to her father. Father, Father! She says, a boy i met touched my shoulder! Like this? Her father says and touches her shoulder. Yes just like that, a bad part was that he kissed me on my lips! Like this? her father says and kisses her on the lips. Yes just like that but the WORST thing was he stuck his you know what into my you know where. Like this? Her father says as he sticks his you know what into her you know where. Yes just like that father but he had AIDS! ......( Awkward silence)..... oh shit.

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A guy with no legs walks into a bar.

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whats worse than losing your pet rock? having your dog run over buy a car.

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what is the difference of left and right? i used my right hand to stab your mother.

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If you helped Jack on the horse, would you help Jack off the horse? Of course; if he was too short to climb onto the saddle then it would be irresponsible and potentially dangerous not to help him off. As his riding instructor, you would be liable for any injuries Jack sustained had he attempted to dismount the horse with no assistance.

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Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial Muscles.

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What is bright yellow and tastes like Gatorade? Antifreeze

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So an asian man gets into a car... and drives home on the highway driving at the approximate speed of the designated speed limit while exhibiting safe driving maneuvers. He arrives home to his wife and kids and sits down for a nice dinner while having a engaging conversation about the political future of the United States and his favorite football team.

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My wife has terminal cancer.

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I'm gonna put my nut-sack on your drum set

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What do you call a black man jumping out of a plane? A skydiver

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him.

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Ross Tumilty is gay 8===D

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Four guys are on an airplane. The plane lands safely and the four guys return to their families.

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guess what the quarterback did he threw the ball!

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whats worse then falling on the ice? -getting raped by a blue whale

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You are on a street. there are 4 houses, a red one, a blue one, a green one, and a white one. The red man lives in the red house, the blue man lives in the blue house. the green man lives in the green house. Who lives in the white house? The president

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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Q)whats pink and fluffy A)pink fluff

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Why did the chicken cross the road? there were no more cars in the way

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Bill is walking down the street when a girl who had a crush on him 20 years ago sees him, goes up to him, and says, "I think I know you, what is your name?". Bill says, "Timmy," and keeps walking because he is an asshole.

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A man walks into a bar and slowly draws a pistol and kills 5 people.

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Who killed Lincoln Nobody knows

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops