Knock Knock Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident, your entire family is dead.

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Your mother is so fat.

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Why do Jews hate hitler? They are jealous of him.

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What did the boy with no arms get for christmas? Prosthetic arms.

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What do super heroes say after they beat the villain? Nothing, super heroes are not real.

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Why was the gay kid made fun of........... because he was homosexual who was struggling in life

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What is worse than getting mud on your brand new t-shirt? Getting stabbed.

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I went to a magic show and the magician asked for my watch... He took the watch and then produced a doughnut... Guess what was in the doughnut? JAM!

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My mom touched my wiener : \

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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What's a vampire's favorite subject in school? Probably math.

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What's yellow and dangerous? China.

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What’s green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

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What's bad for your teeth? A brick

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Your mom is so fat she has to buy clothes at a Plus-size clothing store.

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so a baby seal walks into a club...

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A man walks into a bar. "Excuse me sir," he asks, "may I have a beer?" "No," says the bartender.

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A bass player walks past a bar. What? It could happen.

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Hi Adam,

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How did the little boy break his arm? He was trampleed by elephants.

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Jesus can walk on water. Babies are 75% water. I can walk on babies. I am... In jail.

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extraction interveal means the opposite of integer

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Q:: when artificial intelligence takes over the planet, what will become of anti-joke.com? A:: idk, but my cousin's girlfriend and I will get naked together and she will get on top of me and tell me I'm awesome and that my d*ck feels really good inside her. you see by the time AI takes over, the means to create virtual reality experiences will be greatly enhanced.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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