A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

Four guys walk into a bar. They buy their drinks and stay for a couple of hours. After they are done they get a cab ride home. It was a lovely night.

Why was the orphan crying? Because his parents are dead.

A dog walks into a bar. A patron checks its tags and promptly calls the owner.

There once was a man from Nantucket I raped him. The End.

What didn't last long? You in the bed

Why is the ANTIJOKE symbol 2 mask faces crying? Because some people don't know how to write a good joke.

A fairly-priced Apple computer.

three men walked into a bar, the fourth one ducked

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was Catholic and was having an identity crisis. Thinking that he was the road, he panicked and crossed himself.

Knock knock. Who's there? Get in the van, or I'll kill you.

What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? It doesn't matter. You can call him anything you like, but he won't come running to you.

Jews who wear penny loafers...

What is black, white, and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

What did the racist guy say at the baseball game? I am at a baseball game.

i like pie

What did God say to the Priest? Nothing, there is no God

What do you call your mother? Mom.

Why did Tyrone try to sell Timmy some blow? Due to his poor educational background, lack of recommendations, and a terrible job market, Tyrone wasn't able to get a real job and had to resort to selling illegal narcotics. This wasn't something Tyrone wanted to do, because he promised himself he would never end up like his father, but this was the only way he could support his family.

Q: How did the blind girl on the tight rope die? A: She fell because she has Parkinsons

What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

What's round and red? A round and red solid.

What's the difference between a Mexican and a picnic table? The average picnic table can support a family of four, while a Mexican person, depending on his or her career, can support families that include over four people.

whats worse then getting robbed by a black man? -getting hit by a bus due to not having the needed currency to get a ride home

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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