A guy who's father of eight children, married to a wonderful woman for fifty years, he likes pizza and spaghetti, he smokes cigars occasionally, he also exercises : He runs around the block every other day. He's the manager of a pizza shop and he's living in a two-floor house he calls his home... Nothing really funny happens to this guy, but that's got to be the most detailed character background in a joke ever.

What did the genie say to the frog? Go home.

Q:why did the chicken cross the road. A:to get back to the farm he was raised on

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have AIDS, Now you do too!

Gay rights

What's better than having an iPad? I don't know, I lost both my hands.

why couldn't hellen keller drive becasue she was a women

Knock knock, Whos there Nig.ger Nig.ger who Fu.ck all nig.gers.

What's worse then Obama? Nothing

So a baby seal walks into a club.

Knock,Knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Orange you going to let me in?

my names jim haha

What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was tomato...

How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

How do you fit three gay men on a stool? You don't, that would be very uncomfortable.

MWAAHHHHHAHAHHAH

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

minorities

A jew, a catholic, and a muslim walk into a bar. Within minutes, they begin to argue about religion. After a few hours of intense debate, all three left dissatisfied and upset.

How do you evolve a Pikachu into a Raichu? You use a Thunderstone.

On the fifth day of Christmas my true love brought to me Nothing, because we only celebrate one day of Christmas

A: Knock Knock! B: Whos there? A: Its the f**king cops we have you surrounded.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...