Why did the boy cry? Because he was mercilessly beaten by his mother.

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Why did the motorcyclist die? I heard he was sat on by Chuck Norris.

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Have you seen stevie wonders house? Nope... Neither has he

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A teenage boy walks into a bar, he doesn't even know he's slowly drinking his life away

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! That is a joke which very few people would find even mildly entertaining.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What did the penguins get for Christmas? A hang-glider What did the polar bears get for Christmas? Death, The Holocaust, Global Warming, and all of Steven King's books.

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What’s brown, sticky and smells like poo? Shit!!

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A chicken and a triceratops walk into a bar. They both immediately recognize each other and start trading anti-jokes, of which no one else in the bar understood, for they are animals, and animals cannot speak. Which brings up the question of how the triceratops and the chicken would communicate in any way that was conversely accurate to how humans would make jokes. Also adding in the fact that they are both from different eras of time, and the people wonder why a triceratops is walking around when they are in fact extinct. Turns out, the triceratops was an animatronic that gained sentience and ran off the set of Jurassic Park IV, a movie production that was not yet announced, as Steven Spielberg was still working on other movies that were more important at the time. The chicken flew in here because he heard the bar was close-by to where he worked, so he decided to drop by after a long Friday. The bartender finally walks up and asks the triceratops, "What would you like?" The triceratops then went on a rampage and killed everyone inside because he was an alcoholic and lost his family because of it, since his ex-wife would be worked to the bone trying to raise his 2 children and adopted platypus son David. He lost everything in the divorce. Why was he in a bar then? I don't know, I can't talk to dinosaurs. The chicken then befriended the triceratops, as the chicken was a secret anarchist who sought to bring down all the stores on the street, as his mother was killed there while trying to cross the street. She fell into a manhole. The chicken and the triceratops then traded usernames on League of Legends then played out that Friday teaming up and taking down Evil. How do they play League if they're animals? Because this whole story is made up and you wasted a good 2-3 minutes trying to read this.

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whats worse than getting a fail on your math test? Getting shot.

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Whats worse then the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple

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A hayride would be fun.

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KNOCK KNOCK. who's there? Isdar Isdar who? Isdark in here.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sargeant John Smith mam. I regret to inform you that your husband died in the line of fire - I'm sorry.

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"I see London; I see France..." "Wow. You must have exceptional eyesight."

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what did the atheist get for Christmas? Nothing. If he was being truly honest to his beliefs, he wouldn't partake in a christian holiday.

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What is as dry as a bone? A bone

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Why did the Booger cross the road? because He was getting picked on....

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What did the small baby faucet say to the daddy faucet? Nothing, they are inanimate objects and cannot talk.

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Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident, your entire family is dead.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to vote off obama

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What is worse than getting mud on your brand new t-shirt? Getting stabbed.

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Why was the little girl lying on the floor? Because she had no arms or legs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops