A Horse walks into a bar. So the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The Horse replies "My jockey raped me".

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Whats round, hard, and full of seaman? Well in the context I'm using it in, a submarine, but too the inappropriate mind when spoken out loud, could be registered as the homophone of seaman, semen, which would then lead you too think of male genitalia.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

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When does the baby talk When you remove ypur feet from its mouth

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What's the number one killer in America? Death.

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Why did the pigeon rape itself? It had mental issues.

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What did the genie say to the frog? Go home.

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you know what they say... hydrate or die

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Q: How many cows does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Infinite, cows do not have thumbs, in fact, they have hooves. This disables them from holding any large objects without the use of their mouthes.

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A man walks into a bar. Inside he finds Hitler, his wife, and an angry badger. They are pleased to see him and they all relate to each other through their shared love of bocce ball.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a snake in your liver. Because that could be hazardous to your health.

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How do you drown a blonde? Keep her head under water for 2 minutes because thats when the human brain starts to loose oxygen.

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Your momma so fat she can eat 10 of your 300lb friends.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS. AIDS is worse.

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I heard the new Batman movie was to die for

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A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What do you pull when it's hailing. Your favorite electronic.

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knock knock whose there?? seth oh, come in

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What do you call a pencil made entirely of steel? I dont know, i dont name my pencils.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. I cut off his leg.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. 'Who's there.' The chicken.

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Why do black people love menthol? Nobody knows.

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What happened to the power lifter that tried to deadlift 920 lbs while wearing nothing but his briefs? he succeeded because he is trained power lifter.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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