What's green and has wheels? A cucumber with wheels.

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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What do you call a muslim with an RPG? Holy Shiite

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why does breanna love pie? BECAUSE ITS JIMMYS LAST NAME!!!

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Amblyopsidae, or blindfish, commonly found in caves where they are well adapted to life in the dark.

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Roses are Red Violets are blue Shut up I'm watching Re-runs of FRIENDS.

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I scream. You scream. We all scream and huddle in a corner of our first grade classroom because of a masked gunman.

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Your momma's so ugly she adopted you because she had a problem attracting men.

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A girl walks into a bar she is then drugged, raped and left in a back alley. To this day she still has psychological issues that are directly related to this event

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Lizards are like marshmellows. If you put them in the microwave they blow up.

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What did the black guy do when he heard sirens? He Ran

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Why did the murderer buy a lizard? He thought that they were cute.

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Q - Why did the boy die? A - He had AIDS because his father raped him.

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Why did the pollock jump into the sea? A pollock is a fish.

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What do you get if you cross a chicken and a potato? Answer- Chicken tasted potato

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Why was the man unable to get an erection? Because he was a woman

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Why do black people always say to the left to the left... because they don't have rights.

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Why was little timmy's arm crooked His mom tried to pull his arm off.

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What's similar between a flamingo and a rhino? They're both pink...except the rhino

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a young mother calf named near reality was milking itself and selling it at pathmark everyday for high prices he got a lot of money out of it and bought a big mansion where he also had a farm and collected prize show cows to show off to all of his cow friends.... he also bought gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons of prize show cow milk to drink to and build up energy for the cow show race coming up in the near fall. Every sunset he buys loads of milk to drink and feed his plants with. He plants lots of grass every day to eat and produce high quality milk goods. He was a wii, ps3, and xbox360 to play everyday and excercise his udder milk.

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A black guy, a Mexican guy and a Jew walk into a hospital. They are all undergoing the same chemotherapy treatment.

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Skittles are tasteless. Why? You can't taste the rainbow.

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You're really messed up right now... elephants don't talk

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What happens when some one breaks apart your little brother's lego tower? You have a screaming little brother and a bunch of legos all over the floor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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