Whats the fastest way to a man's heart?? Saw through his breastplate.

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What's a pirate's favorite letter? R, but they are also fond of the C.

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What do you call a pencil made entirely of steel? I dont know, i dont name my pencils.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. 'Who's there.' The chicken.

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What is both dead and alive at the same? nothing, thats scientifically impossible you fool

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Gay jokes are a real pain in the butt.

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What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? An Irish wedding is the celabration of two people joining in matrimony, and an Irish funeral is a somber rememberence of a deceased person.

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What did the homeless guy do when he found a quarter? He picked it up

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How do you evolve a Pikachu into a Raichu? You use a Thunderstone.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Depending on whether you have permission to eat it, either stolen property, or a nice snack shared between friends.

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Why DIDN'T the skeleton cross the road? ..He didn't have any private parts

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what do you do if there is a black person in your front yard? tell him to leave...

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. Look at my new shoes.

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how do you make a baby float take you foot of its head

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You're mama's so fat: she has to wear plus size clothing

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Were do you find a dog with no legs ? Were you left him

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't.

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God said "let there be light" Chuck Noris said "say please

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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why couldn't hellen keller drive becasue she was a women

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Why did the little girl drop her ice cream cone? She got hit by a bus.

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Your mama is so fat... she really should go on a diet.

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what is white and red all over? a ginger

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops