A wolf boards a plane with two dead rabbits in his mouth. The flight attendant approaches him and says, "Sir, you can only have one of those on the plane." The wolf bites her throat out.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs floating on the water? Dead.

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Why did the white man accuse the black man of stealing his wallet? Because they were the only two men in the room at the time of the theft

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You're on fire.

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Knock knock. Who's there? You know. You know who? "Call him Voldemort.... Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself."

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Why didn't Betty ride her bike to school? She had no legs.

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The economy.

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Where does the king keep his armies? In a variety of military barracks and bases situated around his kingdom where they are ready to be deployed for combat or peacekeeping operations.

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What do you call a man with a sack of money running from a bank? A rich man.

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I need somebody to lean on... ...Because one of my legs was amputated after I was blown up on a mine field in afganistan.

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What did the paraplegic boy get for christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish.

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up.

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Q: Why did the bully hit the kid A:Because he is a bully-I thought that would have been self explanitory.

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My mom touched my wiener : \

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What would George Washington do if he was alive today? Scream and scrach at the top of his coffin.

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Why did the boy cry? because his tear-ducts were agitated by an emotional reaction due to jokes that were ironically hilarious because of how bland and usual the punchlines were

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Richard fell off a cliff. He hit the pavement and died on contact. If only he knew he could fly.

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Steve Jobs didn't die. He went to go set up iCLOUD.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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Whats he best type of terroist? A dead one.

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As a teen girl was walking through the perfume shop, she picked up one called, "Swirly Paradise." She sprayed it on her and sniffed the sweet scent. Suddenly, the world spun around and she suddenly woke up inside an empty bra. A mouse sniffed her and ate her alive.

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What do you do to someone you hate very much? You kill them.

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A fish walks into a bad Fish dont walk

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What's the difference between an orange? Mooses don't like to wear sweater-vests.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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