Hi

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Rub-a-dub-dub three men in a tub, and one was Sandusky.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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What do you call a black man in a cotton field? A farmer

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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Arent you my dark knight in black armor, you would seriously put your life on the line for my sake?

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Why was John the octopus depressed? Because his real name was Steve, and he couldn't communicate this to anyone since he lacked the higher brain functions and vocal chords required to do so.

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How do you fit 100 babies in a bucket? put them in a blender. How do you get them out? potato chips.

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Your mother is such a whore that she has consensual sex with a lot of people...

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How do you lock out a Chinese Person? Lock the door

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equality for women

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A man walks into a bar... But, it's not funny because he's an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.

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What do you call a pig with no arms? A pig, pigs don't have arms

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What did the blonde say to the priest? Probably something stupid due to the fact that she's blonde.

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A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian says "I'm worried about your book choice, maybe you should consult a theropast".

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What did the blind man say to the deaf man? It doesn't matter because the deaf man couldn't hear him.

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Knock, knock! “Who's there?” “The Gestapo.”

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The NBA lockout

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? He had cancer.

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Two cannibals are eating around a fire in the jungle, and one turns to the other and says "Does this taste funny to you?" Oh yeah, and they're eating a clown.

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How did the kid drop his ice cream cone? Ans. He got hit by a bus

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither. The single celled amoeba. As billions of years passed, the simple amoeba began to form limbs which it utilized to crawl its way out of the ocean onto dry land. Millions of years would pass before the simplified organism began to develop into a fully functional chicken.

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What makes fat kids laugh? Jokes.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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